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nn5n: scp-2479 I'm a Mean Lean Meme Dream Machine!
KeterSCP-2479 I'm a Mean Lean Meme Dream Machine!Rate: 3

Item #: SCP-2479

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to its nature, SCP-2479 is currently impossible to fully contain, although research into containment is ongoing. Matters concerning research and public knowledge of SCP-2479 are to be dealt with by MTF Mu-397 ("Sleep Walkers"). This may be done via use of amnestics, destroying possible reports of SCP-2479, and publishing of false articles disproving SCP-2479's existence.

Description: SCP-2479 is an anomaly affecting sleeping human beings during the hours of 10pm-2am in relation to the subject's geopolitical timezone. Subjects affected by SCP-2479 will experience a dream, in which they are transported from their surroundings within the dream to a court room of various appearance. Subjects generally report this room to contain a large variation of medieval torture apparatus, stone circles, large monitors displaying multiple unknown symbols, buckets filled with dice, and large amounts of clocks, all of which display different times. The purpose of these is currently unknown, as subjects have all reported receiving different explanations for their use, including mind reading, gambling, religion, feeding equipment, and other subjects.

Subjects will then report being asked multiple questions by three unidentified humanoids, all random in appearance. These questions pertain to a variety of subjects, but seem to be mildly philosophical (see Addendum 2479-A1). Subjects find themselves answering these questions honestly and plainly.
Affected individuals have little to no memory of SCP-2479 unless given strong mnestics. Dreams involving SCP-2479 have been described as much more immersive than an ordinary dream. All subjects who have been treated with mnestics recall experiencing SCP-2479 roughly once every week.

Addendum 2479-A1: SCP-2479 was discovered during a mnestic drug test on 2016/02/10, when D-837 reported "a strange but realistic dream". This was theorised to be the effects of the drugs, but it was later discovered that it was the effect of an anomaly. Further testing was conducted.

Testing Log MD-087 (2016/10/02)
Subject: D-837
Procedure: D-837 is administered third revision mnestics, and put to sleep. D-837 is instructed to report if the drugs administered assisted him in recalling any dreams or simular experiences during the night.
Result: Subject wakes up in heavy emotional distress, reporting being interviewed within a dream. Subject reports this with surprising detail, proving the effectiveness of the mnestics. Further investigation on D-837's experience is to be carried out.

Testing Log 2479-A1 (2016/10/03)
Subject: D-4943
Procedure: Subject is administered mnestics, and put to sleep. If D-4943 reports experiencing similar results to D-837 he is to record all questions received and answers given.
Results: Subject reported to visualise romantic interactions with Dr. Smith within his own home. D-4943 reports that his home was "turned into a court room by ants". D-4943 then began receiving the expected questions.

Question: If you were a bee, would you eat honey?

Answer: No.

Question: What do you prefer? To kill for your own benefit, or to spare for no benefit?

Answer: To spare for no benefit.

Question: It certainly didn't seem like that last morning. Could you explain that?

Answer: They told me to do that, it wasn't my fault.

Question: What would they do if you didn't do that?

Answer: They'd probably kill me or something.

Question: Why not just die, and save them?

Answer: Like I said, they were going to die anyway.

Question: How do you know?

Answer: Because they told me.

Question: Do you really still trust them?

Answer No.

Question: Do you like mirrors?

Answer: No.

Question: Why?

Answer: Because I don't want to see myself anymore.
Question: Why do you think you're a good person?
Answer: I don't.
Question: And why is that?
Answer: Because I am a terrible person who has done terrible things.

Question: Do you think you could improve?

Answer: No.

Question: Why?

Answer: Because I can't do much in my current situation.

Question: Accepting self-sacrifice for greater good is quite noble, yes?

Answer: Maybe.

Question: Do you think it'd be quite redeeming?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Are you happy now?

Answer: I suppose.

Question: Are you scared of us?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Does that make you a terrible person?

Answer: No.

Question: If you were money, would you buy?

Answer: Yes.

Question: (given by Dr. Smith)  Will you marry me?

(D-4943 reports kissing Dr. Smith until SCP-2479 ended.)

Testing Log 2479-A2 (2016/10/05)
Subject: Dr. Fan
Procedure: Identical to testing log 2479-A1. Dr. Fan is instructed to question the humanoid manifestations within SCP-2749.
Results: Dr. Fan reports being unable to question SCP-2479, and only being capable of answering the questions given.

Question: Why do you wake up?

Answer: Because I stop sleeping. Also-

Question: Why?

Answer: Because my body can't sleep forever. So, why-

Question: What if it could?

Answer: Then I'd probably die.

Question: What's wrong with that?

Answer: Because there's people I don't want to leave.

Question: What if they didn't wake up?

Answer: Then I'd wake up, anyway.

Question: Is it strange that you care for them so much? Considering all the lies you tell them?

Answer: Not really.

Question: You tell lies for the number 5 people. Do you even like them?

Answer: No.

Question: You don't even like them? But you tell lies to your friends for them?

Answer: Yes.

Question: That's terrible. You're terrible. Right?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Are you more like a spider, or an ant?

Answer: An ant. Just-

Question: Who's your favourite child?
Answer: Henry, but-
Question: Why did you answer that? Are you a good father?
Answer: No, no I'm not. Please, just-
Question: Why do you keep trying to question us?

Answer: Because-

Question: You were going to tell me about the number 5 people you hate, right?

Answer: Yes I was but-

Question: Why should you bother then? Don't you hate them?

Answer: I do. I bother because their intentions are good.

Question: How do you know that?

Answer: Because I-

Question: You don't know, do you?

Answer: No. Hey-

Question: Why do you keep trying to interrupt us? We're on the brink of putting a tornado in your town for this nonsense.

Answer: I keep trying to- wait, a tornado?

Question: It was a member of your race who signed over to this, so you of all should know. Now, will you keep quiet and answer these stupid questions?

Answer: No. I need to know-

Question: You suck at this, agreed?

Answer: Well yes but-

Question: I really damn hope your neighbourhood is feeling pretty moral tonight, punishment is hard work, you know?

Answer: No, I don't know.

Question: If your area is full of dirtbags like yourself, then I have to go ask another dumb killgod to pump a hurricane, or tornado, or whatever the hell else into your crumby little street. Thicko doesn't even remember the contract he signed. Get me?

Answer: Excuse me?
Question: Due to your awful attempt at an interview, you have breached the dreameez terms of service, therefore I will take action in correspondence to the \~*_571 management board. Thank you for your time.

Testing Log 2479-A3 (2016/10/05)
Subject: Dr. Wild
Procedure: Dr. Wild is administered multiple drugs, in order to aid his self-control and awareness during SCP-2479.
Results: Dr. Wild is unable to recall the majority of the events taking place during SCP-2479. Although, he was able to record the conversation that took place between him and the humanoids within SCP-2479 to point that he can not recall. Dr. Wild has been unable to dream after this, for unknown reasons.

Dr. Wild: Hello? I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Response: If you were a bird, would you fly?

Dr. Wild: Who are you?

Response: If you were a brick, what would you become part of?

Dr. Wild: What is this?

Response: Oh come on. Not one of you again.

Dr. Wild: I want to know why you are asking me these questions.

Response: We also want to know why you ask me these questions, will you tell us?

Dr. Wild: No.

Response: Then why should we answer yours?

Dr. Wild: I don't know. Maybe if you-

Response: The deal you were about to make is a lie.

Dr. Wild:  How did you know what I was going to say?

Response: Because we've been testing you for your entire life, maybe?

Dr. Wild: Then you probably know why I'm asking these questions, right?

Response: Yes, we do have some understanding of why.

Dr. Wild:  So you just wanted to see how I'd answer your questions?

Response: Yes.

Dr. Wild: What are you even doing?

Response: We are searching.

Dr. Wild: Searching for what?

Response: Answers.

Dr. Wild: What answers?

Response: Your answers.

Dr. Wild: What do you need them for?

Response: What you need our answers for.

Dr. Wild: Information?

Response: What is that information for?

Dr. Wild: To protect my world from unexplained things.

Response: Why?

Dr. Wild: Wait a minute, what do you need your information for?

Response: Why do you ask?

Dr. Wild: The same reason you asked me that very question.

Response:  Do you want to know why? Do you really have to?

Dr. Wild: Yes.

Response: Your race is being judged, and this is your trial. You are making a terrible account for yourself, by the way.

Dr. Wild: Why are you judging us though?

Response: Because you are a bunch of lab rats for the new justice system dreameez is cooking up for our planet. Now get lost.

Dr. Wild: Wait, one more question.

Response: Do you realise I'm giving you a chronic inability to dream after this?

Dr. Wild: When was this agreed to? This, survey thing?

Response: A bunch of tools said that in certain cultures the first thing somebody says to you is a vocal signature. Blame your fellow man, "Whuh?". This is legal in four major courts, by the way. Also, they were literal tools- they were a race of screwdrivers.

Dr. Wild: Please, explain what-

Response: Shut up.

<end log>

page revision: 12, last edited: 01 Dec 2016 20:05
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