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nn5n: scp-3161 The Plight of Poor Sir Gregor
SafeSCP-3161 The Plight of Poor Sir GregorRate: 50

Item #: SCP-3161

Object Class: Safe


SCP-3161-1 posing for photo at its own request.

Special Containment Procedures: A perimeter of 2 km is to be maintained around SCP-3161 at all times with no less than six security guards on constant patrols. Any civilians caught attempting to enter this perimeter must be detained, administered class-A amnestic, then turned over to local authorities.

Explorations of SCP-3161 are carried out on a bi-weekly basis by an armed archaeological team of at least five personnel. All documentation of SCP-3161's interior is to be stored in on site folder Exploration Log 3161.1A.

SCP-3161-1 has been authorized for residence within SCP-3161, in fear that SCP-3161-1's removal from this location will result in its termination. If SCP-3161-1 attempts to physically injure any member of personnel, it is to be dismantled and monitored until self reconstruction.

Description: SCP-3161 refers to a man-made subterranean tunnel system discovered beneath the countryside of Shropshire, England, consisting of a network of walkways and arches carved out of sandstone. Architecture places construction between 100 BC and 50 AD. At the time of writing, 2600 m2 of SCP-3161 have been explored. However, it is speculated to cover approximately 3000+ m2. The sediment making up SCP-3161, as well as that of the surrounding area, is impenetrable. There is no significant sign of degradation from age or use.

Guarding the entrance and interior of SCP-3161 is an animate human skeleton, adorned in a full set of 15th century English armor, and equipped with a broadsword, halberd, and wooden shield. This entity has been designated SCP-3161-1.

Despite complete lack of vital internal organs, SCP-3161-1 is capable of speech, movement, and sentience. SCP-3161-1 has also demonstrated capability of detachment and reattachment of any singular portion of its composition. Removed portions remain capable of motion independent of SCP-3161-1. However, SCP-3161-1 posses little physical strength and durability. Armor and equipment carried by SCP-3161-1 encumbers it, causing the subject to move slowly. In moments of aggression, SCP-3161-1 displays difficulty in attacking effectively.

Upon initial discovery, SCP-3161-1 was observed to be hostile toward all personnel within SCP-3161, vocalizing threats in what was determined to be Middle English. SCP-3161-1 has since become docile, as an ongoing process has begun to facilitate communication with the entity.

Addendum 3161.1: The following is an interview conducted several weeks after SCP-3161's initial discovery, translated from Middle English. This interview was preformed by Doctor John R. Reuel, a lead researcher of the Foundation's Linguistic Division.

Interviewed: SCP-3161-1

Interviewer: Dr. Reuel

Foreword: SCP-3161-1 has given consent to a dialogue, but has still refused to leave its position. A folding table, two folding chairs, several lamps, and a single audio recorder have been set-up to facilitate interview. Dr. Reuel and SCP-3161-1 are seated.

<Begin Log>

Dr. Reuel: Hello, SCP-3161-1, thank you for speaking with me.

SCP-3161-1: The joy is mine! It does my heart good, more than you can imagine, to finally be able to speak with someone! However, this title you have bestowed upon me - I don't understand it. It is unnerving.

Dr.Reuel: Well, what would you prefer I -

SCP-3161-1: I am Sir Gregor Tudor the Holy, Loyal Servant of the King, Champion of Bosworth, Finder of Fortunes and the Last Sentinel of God's true place.

Dr. Reuel: Will Sir Gregor do?

SCP-3161-1: Yes, that is acceptable. How may I refer to you? You all appear to be learned individuals; surely you must hold titles of your own, and I would not wish to show disrespect.

Dr. Reuel: Doctor will be fine for now. I'll try to be blunt with you so as not to confuse you any further.

SCP-3161-1: Good; I prefer it that way, doctor! Very long I have been waiting in this place. Let us be true and honest with one another.

Dr. Reuel: Sir Gregor, how is it that you can move and speak even after death?

SCP-3161-1: laughs Dead, am I, doctor? Do I not speak to you? Can you not see me here, standing in my post? Could a dead man accomplish such a task?

Dr. Reuel: …Are you aware that, in your current physical state, you are a skeleton inside of armor?

SCP-3161-1: You are correct, my body, it has wasted away. My soul, however, remains alive!

Dr. Reuel: I reiterate, then: How is that?

SCP-3161-1: A vow I took to my king. He put on me a blessing from the Almighty, that I might remain in this place, and be its protector. Deep in its tunnels can be found the power which gave unto us the strength for victory!

Dr. Reuel: I see. So if I understand correctly, Sir Gregor, you found something in these caverns-

SCP-3161-1: A gift from our Lord himself! Chosen! We were chosen to receive it!

Dr. Reuel: -yes, and this gift is what keeps you alive?

SCP-3161-1: I know, and I alone know where it lies. A secret that shall be kept until my true death, when he who is worthy arrives to relieve me of my post. I shall lead him there, to our gift, and then I shall perish, knowing I have kept my vow.

Dr. Reuel: Alright. So, this worthy person, how will you know when he arrives?

SCP-3161-1: Aha; this is why I am so excited to be able to speak clearly with you, doctor! A riddle I hold. All who hear it must answer. If you are correct, I shall give you my secrets. If you are wrong, I give you only the edge of my blade.

SCP-3161-1 stands up and slowly unsheathes its broadsword.

Dr. Reuel: A riddle? I don't-

SCP-3161-1: Shouting Prepare all your wits. Your time in the eyes of the Holy Father himself has come. Prove yourself worthy, and life eternal shall be yours as well! Do you, my friend, accept the challenge?

Dr. Reuel: motions for guards not to interrupt I accept. Why not.

SCP-3161-1: Then hear me, and decide your fate! A fox prowls the forest, in search of prey. He spots a rabbit and gives chase…


SCP-3161-1: Or was it a wolf? Yes, I had it wrong. A wolf prowls the forest, in search of prey. He spots a rabbit….No that’s not right. He smells the rabbit…or was it the fox?

Dr. Reuel: Is something wrong Sir Gregor?

SCP-3161-1: My apologies, doctor. You are the first in very long to attempt the challenge. I simply needed a moment to remember back all those years past. Now; a fox prowls through the forest, in search of prey. He smells a rabbit and gives chase. And… and…


SCP-3161-1: He gives chase to the rabbit…I know it ends at a tree. He chases the rabbit to a tree…no, it was a river first. Or was the river last?

Dr. Reuel: Sir Gregor, you appear to be having difficulty with this riddle.

SCP-3161-1: Yes…well…shouting It has been many lifetimes since I was given this riddle! A time when I was still of flesh and blood! Here have I waited for someone, anyone, to arrive! Someone to relieve me of my duty or for me to put to the sword in glorious combat! But did they arrive? No! No one did! Not until you. Not heroic knights but strange alchemists that speak some strange bastard English I cannot even understand! Now please, doctor, just give me a moment! I’m sure the memories will return to me!

Dr. Reuel remains silent

SCP-3161: Now, where was I…ah yes, the river….or was it a lake?

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Behavior of SCP-3161-1 was observed to become increasingly aggressive towards staff following this interview, reciting several versions of the prior riddle before attacking. Despite this, no member of personnel has been seriously injured or obstructed by SCP-3161-1. As of yet, no other anomalous object or entity has been discovered within SCP-3161.

page revision: 22, last edited: 15 May 2018 12:41
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