nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: SCP-V1L3-J
SCP-V1L3-JRate: 132
SCP-V1L3-J

Item #: SCP-V1L3-J

Object Class: (Not) Safe (For Work)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-V1L3-J is locked beneath Site-75, in a vault 10 meters under the previous lowest point of Site-75. SCP-V1L3-J is to be guarded by at least two members of MTF-Eta-10 (“See No Evil”) to ensure defense of faculty from the effects of SCP-V1L3. Testing has ceased on SCP-V1L3-J due to a unanimous Ethics Council vote to prevent exposure.

Description: SCP-V1L3-J appears to be a standard slot machine adorned with pictures of various anomalies currently in Foundation containment, crudely drawn in a chibi1 style. The machine only has three spinning slot sections as opposed to the typical five. The left and right slot contain names or designations for different anomalies or prominent Foundation personnel. The middle column only contains the letter “X”.

SCP-V1L3-J’s anomalous effect manifests when $50 USD is slid into the token slot and the lever on the right side of the box is pulled downwards. This will cause the slots to spin, and a presumably random figure in the Foundation will be selected on either side. SCP-V1L3-J then enters a “hibernation state” in which the machine cannot be interacted with, and money is no longer accepted. After exactly 24 hours, a heavily folded paper or sheaf of papers emerges from the slot previously used to insert money, with handwritten words on the pages.

The paper(s), now designated SCP-V1L3-J-1, contain writing relating to the two described entities being in a budding romantic relationship with each other. These stories contain classified Foundation locations, anomalies, and personnel.

On the underside of the box is a note, scrawled in pen:

Writing is hard, so have us do it for you! Here at Wondertainment, we understand the need for good, old-fashioned romance to break up the monotony of stealing our toys. Millions of potential combinations to pique your fancy and tickle your romance bone. Happy reading!

Addendum V1L3.1: SCP-076, SCP-073

The halls of Site-17 High School go quiet as a tall, muscular boy walks out of detention. The more timid of the students run, while the rest avoid his terrifying gaze. A flurry of teachers rush out to try to get him back into detention, but back off when he removes his shirt to reveal his glistening, rippling muscles. Across the hallway, another, equally as tall and muscular, but kinder looking boy looks on in awe.

“Who is that guy?” he says, still staring at the boy’s perfect 12-pack. The girl next to him responds in a hushed, yet excited tone, “That’s Able! He’s the teen heartthrob of the whole school. He’s such a bad boy that we are all too scared to ask him out though. Apparently he beats up any teacher who keeps him in detention.”

The boy merely nods, still mesmerized by Able’s throbbing biceps. He slowly walks towards Able, causing the teen bad boy to turn towards him.

“Why, who might this brave soul be? Are you going to try to contain me as well?” Able mocks, sauntering closer. “Why? I don’t think I’ve seen you around here. You new?”

“Ah-uh yeah, I’m C-C-Cain, nice to meet you, uh, sir.” stutters the boy, practically salivating at the thought of Able’s creamy hamstrings. “I, uhh just moved here from Site-19 High School.”

“Well aren’t you just a treat. Now that I’m looking at you, you look a bit like me.” Able straightens up and glares at Cain. “I’m going to have to punish you for that.”

The silence in the room deepens as Able grabs Cain and folds him over his knee. Pulling down Cain’s loose jeans and revealing his tight ass, Able pulls his hand back and prepares to [DATA EXPUNGED BY ORDER OF O5 COUNCIL].

Researcher's Note: This is potentially the worst thing I have ever read. The colonoscopy scene went too far, and did it really require 203 pages? Never read this document without heavy amnestics.

Addendum V1L3.2: ●●|●●●●●|●●|●, SCP-055

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Researcher Note:

RobGrindes-shrug-143px.png

Addendum V1L3.3: SCP-3856, SCP-3856

Researcher Lloyd stared confusedly at the familiar looking man standing before him. Who had let him in here? Lloyd was under the understanding that nothing dangerous was to be let into his cell, but this boy, no, man, looked delectably dangerous to him. The man turns around revealing a face, not unlike his own, but with sunglasses.

"Who are you?" the man with the sunglasses asked, "And where am I?" The man looks up at Researcher Lloyd. "Hey, you look somewhat familiarand good"

"Uhh what did you- never mind that, my name is Samuel Lloyd, but everyone just calls me Lloyd, or Researcher Lloyd. I'm an anomaly so… who let you in here?"

"I was messing with you, its a bit I do every time. I'm also Samuel Lloyd, from another dimension in which we wear glasses. Most people call me Cool Lloyd for ease of communication. As for who let me in here, Nerd Lloyd did."

An equally hunky, but slightly nerdier version of Samuel Lloyd with glasses walks through the door.

"Hey, you know my designation is Glasses Lloyd, you're just being a jerk daddy."

"What the hell is going on here?" Researcher Lloyd yelled, still confused as to the sudden influx of attractive men who were identical to him, "Why did you sexy gentlemen come here for me?"

Cool Lloyd walked up to Researcher Lloyd, pulling his chin up for no reason other than dramatic effect considering they were the exact same height.

"We are gathering all of the attractive men in the universe. Only problem is, we are the most attractive men in the universe, so we are all going to run away together for a multidimensional [EXPLETIVE DELETED] party."

Researcher Lloyd was going to protest. After all, him leaving his universe put it in danger! As he was about to open his mouth, Cool Lloyd put his finger over Researcher Lloyd's lips, shushing him, and signaling to Nerd/Glasses Lloyd, both of them disrobing. Researcher Lloyd watched as the two half-nude men began to dance and swing [DATA EXPUNGED BY ORDER OF O5 COUNCIL].

Researcher's Note: Did… did we break it?

Somehow, more experiments were commissioned: V1L3-J Experiment Log

page revision: 5, last edited: 04 May 2018 14:45
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