nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: scp-2419 The Laughing Men
EuclidSCP-2419 The Laughing MenRate: 40

Unit C (circa 1963).

Item #: SCP-2419

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: A fenced, circular perimeter with a radius of 15 kilometers has been established around SCP-2419. This perimeter is maintained by MTF Beta-7 ("Maz Hatters") as private property.

Once per day, MTF Beta-7 is to accompany Foundation technicians into Unit C to perform maintenance on 1 of the 6 incinerators. They are to follow a rotating schedule to ensure each incinerator's furnace is serviced once a week. Outside of this maintenance, every furnace is to remain lit and operational at all times. Reinforced steel hatches have been welded atop of each incinerator's 3 disposal chutes; these hatches are to remain bolted and locked.

Instances of SCP-2419-A found outside of Unit C's incinerators are to be immersed in concrete and shipped to an indefinite containment site.


Model of Unit A, B and C.

Description: SCP-2419 is a refinery and waste disposal facility located 75 kilometers north of Summer Springs, Colorado (USA). It was constructed in 1954 by the Foundation for the purposes of handling the incineration and long-term storage of hazardous wastes (primarily medical waste). A controlled evacuation was carried out in 1975 after it began to exhibit several anomalies.

The facility is divided into three units. Unit A was responsible for long-term storage of anomalous waste via a deep geological repository; Unit B received shipments of waste and processed them. Unit C disposed of non-anomalous waste via incineration.

Instances of SCP-2419-A present as human entities that occur within the interior of Unit C's incinerators. They exhibit anomalous regenerative abilities and are incapable of dying. Although they typically attempt to exit the incinerators via the disposal chutes, the heat from each incinerator's furnace is sufficient to stop them before they can make significant progress.

SCP-2419-A instances do not communicate, and lack any sense of self-preservation. Although they appear to have no interest in each other, they show extreme hostility toward any sapient non-instance.

Addendum 2419.1: Discovery


INCIDENT #: 2419-001


Nearly incinerated SCP-2419-A instance climbing up one of the incinerator's chutes.

Workers operating Unit C reported screams from inside of all 6 incinerators' ash-pits; after a brief investigation, the Site-Director ordered the burners on incinerator #4 snuffed.

Several dozen severely burned entities immediately began to emerge from the incinerator's disposal chutes. They attempted to drag Foundation personnel back down into the ash-pit with them.

The Site-Director immediately ordered the on-site MTF team to terminate all hostile entities. After determining that these entities could regenerate, the Site-Director ordered the MTF team to force them back down the chutes via steam-lance. All the furnace's burners were re-lit; the #4 incinerator was put back into service without further incident.

During the incident, the MTF team managed to subdue and capture five of these entities. They have been transported off-site for further study.


DATE: 1976/07/21
SUBJECT: SCP-2419-A Instance (SCP-2419-A-5)
NOTE: On account of the hostility typically exhibited by SCP-2419-A instances, the interview was conducted behind a ventilated glass wall and with an armed guard observing.


WARREN: Good morning, Number Five.

(Soft ripping.)

WARREN: You know, if you keep picking at your arm, it's never going to heal.

(Soft ripping continues.)

WARREN: We know you can speak. We've recorded you laughing.

(Soft ripping continues.)

WARREN: Why won't you speak to us?

(Soft ripping continues.)

WARREN: Is there anything we can do to change your mind?

(Soft ripping continues.)

WARREN: Look… I brought you something.

(Soft ripping stops.)

WARREN: It's a picture. Of your family. Back before — back when your name was John. Back before you were D-Class. Do you remember…?


WARREN: You had a wife. Two sons. A little baby girl.


WARREN: (softly) Do you remember, John?

GUARD: Don't get too close to the—

WARREN: It's alright. I think he might be starting to remember. John? Do you remember?


WARREN: (softly) John? This is your—


WARREN: What the—

(Shattering glass.)

GUARD: Shit! He's—

WARREN: (Screaming.)

(Rapid, repeated wet puncturing.)

WARREN: (Gurgling.)

SUBJECT: (Laughter.)



NOTE: During the interview, SCP-2419-A-5 inflicted an open compound fracture on its left arm. It used the protruding tip of its radial bone to damage the glass wall, then proceeded to use this bone to fatally stab Dr. Warren numerous times in his eyes and face.


DATE: 1978/02/19
FROM: Dr. Jennings
TO: Dr. Brenwick

As per your request, I've finished my six-month evaluation of the five instances we have in custody.

Before I came here, I worked as a prison shrink. Every person you met had a story bursting with pain and sorrow. Sometimes, those stories were about the pain they suffered; sometimes, it was about the pain they inflicted. Some days you felt like everyone there was a beautiful soul torn down by their circumstances — other days, you'd find out what some of them did and a part of you was glad they were there to suffer for it.

But at the end of every day, I always told myself: They're all humans. They're all people. They all deserve the same dignity, respect, and love as everyone else.

No exceptions.

Jeremiah, I opened up with that anecdote only so you could understand that what I'm about to say is not said lightly: These things are not people. They are people-shaped monsters. They are well beyond any definition of psychopathy. Everything they do, they do to hurt, maim, and kill. I would pity them, but that would imply that they're worth pitying.

Put them in a hole, then fill that hole with concrete. Better still: Throw them back into the incinerator where you found them.

I doubt they'll even care.

- Dr. Daniel Jennings

Addendum 2419.2: History


DATE: 1961/05/09
NOTE: The following log is a recording of an orientation speech given by Dr. West to new researchers arriving at Unit B.


WEST: (clearing throat) Now, are any of you religious men? Yes? No? Good. Good, good. Nothing against God, but what I'm about to tell you, ah, it does not always go over well with men of, ah, men of faith. Heh.

(Pause; shuffling papers.)

WEST: Alright, then. As I'm sure you're aware, Unit B is responsible for handling the arriving D-Class remains — to determine whether or not they're anomalous, and to perform a little, ah, shall we say, 'pre-processing' before they're sent to Unit A or Unit C. It's that bit we're going to be discussing today. Slide, please.


WEST: Now, I'm sure all of you —


WEST: Pardon, the slide isn't — the slide isn't —


WEST: There we are. Now, I'm sure all of you are familiar with the human brain, yes? Here it is. I'm sure you're also familiar with how much of a daunting challenge the human brain poses to the Foundation.


WEST: To control it, we use amnestics. But amnestics are, ah, amnestics are hard. Nobody's quite sure where they come from, but we're well aware that they come at a significant cost. On top of that, they're, ah, not very good. Kind of like using a hammer to remove a splinter.

(Brief laughter.)


WEST: What if I told you there's an alternative? A form of amnestics that's been right under our noses all along. Cheaper, safer, very few negative side effects — and significantly more precise.



WEST: I hope the graphic, ah, the graphic nature of this image is not too disturbing. Heh. But we're all scientists here.


WEST: It turns out that the human brain, ah, the human brain — so long as it's relatively well preserved — leaves behind… there's a certain residue that it leaves behind. Something we can extract, and, ah, refine.


WEST: This residue can be 'boiled' from the mind of a sufficiently fresh cadaver; think of it as a 'distillation' of memories — of our happiest experiences. All the parts of a human life that bring us comfort when we need it most — that make us gentle and kind.


WEST: Here, you see what's left behind. The process of 'boiling' is critical, otherwise you'll end up extracting all of this useless crud along with it.


WEST: Now, we can combine and homogenize all of these purified distillations together, to create, ah — well, to create a compound that, when properly processed and combined with targeted hypnotherapy…


WEST: …allows for the removal of precise memories, specific memories. We replace them with this 'happy soup', if you will — and their minds use that soup to build new, pleasant false memories — filling in the gaps.


WEST: The end result being that — even in death, D-Class continue to help us — help the world.


WEST: Now, I know you all have many questions, and I'll be happy to take them. One at a time, please.



DATE: 1974/09/12
FROM: Dr. West
TO: Dr. Hammond


I have nothing but respect for you as a researcher, as a coworker, and as a friend. So please understand where I am coming from when I tell you to go fuck yourself.

Your insistence on trying to go over my head with this is getting tedious. The process doesn't turn corpses anomalous. The incident last month was a fluke — Terry clearly failed to identify an anomalous cadaver before he started the distillation process. He was sloppy (may he rest in peace). That's all.

Everyone's too scared to tell this to your face, so I'll just come right out and say it: Ever since you 'found' religion last year, you've become increasingly unbearable to work with.

And even if you're somehow right — so what? They're dead, Jim. We've got enough problems here on earth without having to worry about whether or not we left a pile of ashes with 'sufficiently happy' thoughts.

I'm putting in for you to be transferred to another site. I highly suggest you don't fight it.

- Dr. West


DATE: 1974/09/13
FROM: Dr. Hammond
TO: Dr. Kerringer

You've always been very kind. Thank you for that.

Yesterday, I processed the body of D-263175. He was sentenced to death for the murder of his wife. I boiled away the six hours he spent holding his sister's hand as she lay dying in a hospital bed. I boiled away the swell of pride he felt when his son took his first few steps. I boiled away all the kindness his mother ever showed him — until all that remained was her cruelty and abuse.

I took away every moment of joy — and left behind a life of uninterrupted misery, pain, and rage.

Do you know why the Foundation takes D-Class personnel from criminal populations, Shaun? It's because nobody stops us. Nobody cares. A prison is where you put unimportant people. It's where you shave down whatever is left of their humanity until the monster you imagined them to be is all that remains. But no matter how hard we tried, there was always a sliver of decency left behind — some piece of them we couldn't quite reach.

Until now. We've done it. In death, D-263175 is finally the monster people imagined. I've burned away every last trace of his humanity. Now, I'm going to send his corpse to Unit C and burn away the rest.

I pray to God that what's left will burn.

I can't stay. I'm sorry. I recommend you get out while you still can.

-Dr. Hammond

FROM: Operator Richard Maddox <noitadnuof.pcs|xoddamr#noitadnuof.pcs|xoddamr>
TO: Site-Director Browning <noitadnuof.pcs|gninworbb#noitadnuof.pcs|gninworbb>
SUBJECT: Unit C Incinerators

Those fancy steel hatches of yours aren't going to cut it.

Look. I'm getting a little tired of playing Cassandra here, but the situation doesn't look good. These things barely missed hitting critical mass back when we switched from oil burners to fuel-gas. All it's going to take is a technician making a mistake — or a burner failing for a little too long.

Yes, the incinerators have massive pits. Yes, if you get it hot enough, human fat will burn and do half the work for you. But none of that will matter if enough meat grows back to stuff the entire stack. Once that happens, the flue gas won't be able to get out — and good luck keeping those burners running without any room for oxygen. We'll lose all six incinerators just like that.

And when that happens? They'll come back.

All of them.

I checked the incineration logs. Incinerator #5 alone has incinerated over three thousand D-Class corpses. Combined, we're looking at ten thousand of these things — easy. All regenerators. All with every happy memory boiled away. All with 20 years worth of new memories, primarily consisting of us burning them alive.

I've been working for the Foundation for over 15 years. I've watched a lot of D-Class die in a lot of horrible ways — so I think I know a little bit about what it sounds like when someone's screaming with fear and pain.

The things in SCP-2419 aren't screaming with fear or pain, Bryan.

They're not screaming at all.

They're laughing.

page revision: 22, last edited: 09 Sep 2018 05:18
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License

Privacy Policy of website