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nn5n: scp-2531 The Pumpkin Man
EuclidSCP-2531 The Pumpkin ManRate: 69
SCP-2531
pumpkin.jpg

Police photo from 1984 State Fair

Item #: SCP-2531

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2531 is presently not under containment. Field agents encountering SCP-2531 are to exercise caution to ensure the vine/stem/umbilical connection is not severed or damaged. Once secure, efforts are to be made to bring SCP-2531 to term allowing indefinite containment.

Description: SCP-2531 is a 70 kg (150 lbs) humanoid figure of indeterminable sex and pallid complexion, usually found in a state of advanced decay. In each occurrence, SCP-2531 has been discovered sealed within Cucurbita maxima (commonly known as giant squash or giant pumpkin). SCP-2531’s height has been found to vary depending on the volume of the pumpkin’s interior. DNA samples taken from SCP-2531 have confirmed that the humanoid figure, although usually severely decomposed, deformed, and contorted, shares 91.4% DNA match to that of Homo sapiens sapiens and 7.2% match to that of Homo neanderthalensis. SCP-2531 is found connected to the interior wall of a giant pumpkin via an umbilical cord composed of both plant and animal matter. The cord runs from the inside of the pumpkin’s stem to the base of SCP-2531’s skull. SCP-2531 does not exhibit an abdominal navel. After the vine/stem/umbilical is severed or severely damaged, SCP-2531 begins to decompose at an exponential rate until only organic dust remains. After an unknown amount of time, SCP-2531 is rediscovered within a new pumpkin. Despite efforts by the Foundation and non-Foundation to preserve SCP-2531, to date no attempts at containment have proven effective.

The decomposition and recurrence of SCP-2531 is currently under investigation. Each pumpkin wherein SCP-2531 was discovered weighed between 340 kg (750 lbs) and 370 kg (816 lbs). Any evidence of an SCP-2531 recurrence should be investigated immediately. Local operatives have clearance to utilize Foundation infrared/ultrasound/and satellite surveillance equipment for the apprehension of SCP-2531.


PUMPKIN MAN WINS BLUE RIBBON

Body Found Inside Massive Pumpkin Has Authorities Baffled

by ██████████
ADN Staff Writer

On Friday, September 7, fairgoers grew concerned about a noxious smell around the produce tent at the Alaska State Fairgrounds. By Sunday, the smell was so pungent that fair security were called in to investigate. “It smelled like rotting meat. At first I thought it had to be a joke; a prank or something,” says ██████ ████████. “I’m still having a tough time wrapping my head around this one.” It turns out the strange smell was originating from this year’s winner of the giant pumpkin contest.

After a brief dispute with ████ ████, the farmer who registered the pumpkin, fair security proceeded to cut a small aperture into the squash. “I think it’s safe to say that nobody was ready to find what we found.” (████████). Staring back at security personnel and fairgoers was a human face. The pumpkin and body were immediately taken to the Alaska State Medical Examiner's Office for further investigation while ████ ████ was taken into custody by Palmer Police for questioning.

“I was just as shocked as everyone else,” says ████, “but I knew right away that it was the Pumpkin Man.” It turns out “Pumpkin Man” is somewhat of a rural legend in the Mat-Su Valley. “You hear about him wailing in the field, but you just kind of think it’s like a kid’s story or something. ████████ always swore up and down that he had Pumpkin Man once. All I know is that you’re supposed to leave those ones alone.”

An autopsy report released yesterday brought more perplexing information to the public. “I don’t know which is stranger,” says Dr. ████████ of the ASMEO, “the fact that the pumpkin showed absolutely no signs of tampering, or that the pumpkin showed absolutely no signs of tampering.” Authorities determined that the body had been dead for well over a week, and no foul play is suspected.

“I don’t know how much longer I’m going to stick around in the pumpkin business,” ████ stated after a nervous laugh. Who’s to say we can blame him?


Interviewed: ████ ████
Interviewer: Dr. ████████

Foreword: The following interview was conducted at the University of Alaska, Anchorage’s ██████ Building, Room ██, on ██/██/1984 (one week after the publication of the “Pumpkin Man Wins Blue Ribbon” article in the Anchorage Daily News).

<Begin Log ██/██/1984 16:32:40 AKDT>

Dr. ████████: Hello, Mr. ████. Thank you for coming in.

████: No problem, and please call me ████. I imagine this is all about the Pumpkin Man.

Dr. ████████: As a matter of fact it is. Please let me cut right to the chase.

████: By all means.

Dr. ████████: In the Anchorage Daily News article, you mentioned that you had some familiarity with the local legend of the Pumpkin Man. Can you please elaborate?

████: So it’s campfire stories you're after? Sure. Sure. I’ll tell you what I’ve heard.

Dr. ████████: Thank you.

████: I don’t know when the stories started, but I remember people talking about the Pumpkin Man when I was a little boy. Used to scare us a bit. Sometimes, we’d even joke around about it, you know. ‘Hey, mom, this pie tastes a little funny. You cook up the Pumpkin Man?’ We’d laugh, but, you know, inside we were always a little scared, like if you said his name too many times, he’d come around or something. It’s like them damn angels. Everybody always talks about how sweet and helpful and how when their farm dog dies, he’s coming back as a guardian angel, or some such. It’s all horse shit. Read the damn Bible. If you ever saw an angel in real life, you’d more likely shit your pants than dance. Scary as hell. Pumpkin Man was like that.

Dr. ████████: Yes, but can you recall any specifics regarding the Pumpkin Man?

████: Sorry. I’m getting on. Didn’t used to meander so much.

Dr. ████████: That’s fine. This is all very interesting.

████: Yeah, so, Pumpkin Man comes around every few years. Some people think him showing up is a blessing. You know, next year will be a record harvest or something like that. But some folks think it’s a pall, you know. You screwed up, and now Pumpkin Man is coming to let you know to turn around quick.

Dr. ████████: So how’s business?

[Both Laughing]

████: Damn fine. You sciencey folks are great for the pocket book. But I’m not so sure I want all this attention. Good note to go out on, I guess.

Dr. ████████: So your reluctance to continue farming was sincere?

████: It’s like if you’ve gone fishing all your life, but one day you drag up a fish with a kid’s finger sticking out the mouth. Every fish you pull up after that is sort of ruined. It’s like that now. Might fade, but I doubt it. Before, Pumpkin Man was sort of abstract. I imagined him like a cartoon character when I was a kid. Big jack-o-lantern for a head. Seeing what was inside that pumpkin. Well. Some things you can’t ever unsee. Know what I mean?

Dr. ████████: More than you know.

████: You know, I’d say ‘I doubt that, young lady.’ But… I believe you. So, yeah. You just sort of quietly hope to God that no Pumpkin Man shows up. I’ve heard of folks cutting open pumpkins and finding a bunch of slime inside… like rotten yogurt or custard or something.

Dr. ████████: Adipocere.

████: Excuse me?

Dr. ████████: Adipocere. Fat-wax. It’s a cheesy, grayish-white mass produced when the body's proteins convert to fat.

████: Wow. Well isn’t that pleasant. Yeah. Weird stuff. It’s not the usual rot you see in a pumpkin. They always say ‘that’s him!’ But I was never sure. Like I said in the article, ████████ promised on his mother’s grave that he opened one up and saw Pumpkin Man. He was so damn scared that he loaded it on his pickup and threw it in the river. He was never the brightest.

Dr. ████████: We’ve asked Mr. ████████ for an interview, but he has yet to get back to us. Again, thank you for your cooperation.

████: No problem. Yeah. I made a big mistake saying his name to the papers. He’ll probably never have us over for dinner again. Funny how what I did validated his claims, but now everybody thinks he’s crazier than ever. I really regret dragging him into it. Shooting off my big mouth.

Dr. ████████: Are there any stories of the Pumpkin Man outside the pumpkin, or is he always locked away?

████: Oh sure. Those are the worst ones. They say when he’s about to come out, he wails something fierce. Screaming like a banshee. Anybody with a lick of sense gets the hell out of the field. Of course in the stories, it always happens at night, and more often than not, there’s a big old lightening storm, even though lightning is about as common as Russians around here. Those stories are the worst, because he’s always stalking around in the mist, watching. I think that’s almost worse than coming up and eating bad little boys and girls. I mean, what the hell is he doing? What does he want? Where did he come from? If he ate us up, we could at least figure he was a devil or something. If he helped us out, maybe he’d be like Frankenstein's monster or something. You know, kind of benevolent but confused. But he just lingers and watches. Why?

Dr. ████████: Do you know anyone who has seen him? Outside of the pumpkin, I mean. Out in the fields?

████: Most of the stories have him out in the woods, staying on the fringe, you know. Out in the mist. I don’t know of anybody by name. Friend of a friend type thing. But I can ask around at the local watering hole. I’d better use this fame while I’ve got it. Think I could write a book?

[Both Laughing]

Dr. ████████: In the article, you mentioned that… just a second. ‘All I know is that you’re supposed to leave those ones alone.’ What did you mean by that?

████: You know, I’ve asked myself that same question. For the life of me, I can’t remember if I heard that from somebody, or if it’s just a feeling. You know, we have some of the puzzle pieces, and sometimes I think I can see the bigger picture. Pretty presumptuous, I know. I think he doesn’t want to be seen. I’m not sure if he’ll be ashamed or angry. Either way, I’d rather let him slink around in the woods unseen than have him upset or ashamed. Ignorance is bliss, and in this case, I’m just fine sticking my head in the sand.

Dr. ████████: Thank you so much Mr. █… ████. Is there anything else you can tell us?

████: Nothing that someone else couldn’t tell you better, I’m afraid.

Dr. ████████: Well, again, thank you. Your information is invaluable. If you can think of anything else, please don’t hesitate to call.

████: Thanks. It’s not everyday I get the number of a beautiful young woman. What will the missus think?

[Both Laughing]

<End Log ██/██/1984 16:36:55>

Closing Statement: ████ should be passively monitored. ████ has given Foundation personnel full permission to inspect his farmlands and surrounding acreage. Continue attempts to interview ████████.

Interviewed: ████ ████████
Interviewer: Dr. ████████

Foreword: The following interview was conducted at the ████████ residence, on ██/██/1984 (eight days after the publication of the “Pumpkin Man Wins Blue Ribbon” article in the Anchorage Daily News).

<Begin Log ██/██/1984 07:14:55 AKDT>

████████: Get the hell off my land. This is trespassing! I want to see my lawyer!

Dr. ████████: Please, Mr. ████████, let’s not make this more difficult than it needs to be.

████████: Well, well, if that line ain’t straight out of the soaps. I’m not telling you shit!

[DATA EXPUNGED]

████████: Please, please! I’ll tell you anything, just please!

Dr. ████████: Please tell us about the fall you discovered the Pumpkin Man.

████████: Okay. Okay. I was just scared, okay? He’s not really human, right? Like an animal. You can’t write me up for that, right?

Dr. ████████: We have no interest in bringing criminal charges against you if you cooperate, Mr. ████████, and I would appreciate if you would give us the same courtesy.

████████: Alright. Okay. It was right around September ██ or ██ maybe. I was going to go visit the kids down in ██████, and ███ was going to look after the place while I was gone. I was going to be out during harvest season, but there wasn’t much to harvest back in 19██, so I wasn’t losing any sleep over it. I’m mostly a cow and chicken guy anyhow. Never had the green thumb like ██, but, you know, I’d put in some carrots, pumpkins, and potatoes every year.

Dr. ████████: I don’t mean to interrupt, but who is ██?

████████: My late wife.

Dr. ████████: I see. Please continue.

████████: So I see one of those pumpkins is getting real big. It’s not too weird. Sometimes the seed packets get a wonky seed in there. I get a little excited, and ███ starts talking about how he might enter it into the fair. I mean, he didn’t tell me, but ██████ down at the ████ said he was chomping at the bit. ███ always had a greedy eye. I started taking good care of it, thinking he might share some of that fair money. Or maybe I ought to just let him have it for taking care of the place. But about two weeks before I’m packed and on the plane, he fucking stiffs me with the bill at ██████’s. I’m pissed and drunk when I get home, so I drive out into the field with my old ford and an axe. I whack into the pumpkin, and it starts screaming -

Dr. ████████: Are you telling me the Pumpkin Man was alive?

████████: Oh yeah. That’s putting it lightly. He was freaking out; thrashing around in there, hollering. He was thumping and kicking against those hollow pumpkin walls. I was afraid he’d get out, so I just kept swinging. Eventually he stopped hollering, and I knocked the pumpkin apart enough to load it into the truck. I think that’s when the fear really set in. When we were kids, we used to put out food for the Pumpkin Man, and I had killed him. What did that mean for me? You know, the curse. I was so scared, I loaded him up in the truck, too. He was dead by then, and not too big, by the looks of him. I was running on pure adrenaline, so he didn’t weigh hardly a thing. I drove out to the river and pushed him in.

Dr. ████████: So you’re saying that the Pumpkin Man was not only animate, but verbal?

████████: Oh yeah. I mean, he wasn’t spouting Shakespeare or anything, but he was hollering like a baby stuck in a man’s body. It was damn eerie. Damn eerie.

Dr. ████████: A baby… Can you show us where you disposed of his body?

████████: Sure. Anything you want.

Dr. ████████: You said you used to put out food for the Pumpkin Man when you were younger. Please elaborate.

████████: Sure, sure. We all used to do it. We put out a little bread or pieces of meat. They’d disappear the next day, so we knew he was out there. Probably just the crows, you know. Or mice or something. Back then, it was a simple fact that it was the Pumpkin Man. Just like Santa.

Dr. ████████: Did you ever see the Pumpkin Man when you were younger?

████████: I’d see things. Weird things. You know, when I was out hunting or whatever. Bare feet in the silt miles out of town. Little piles of rocks around the pumpkins, you know. Like, like fairy rings. Ask anybody in the Mat-Su Valley. This one time, there were neat little piles of shit throughout the patch. Humaure type stuff kind of sitting in these little shallow holes. Weird as hell. Thought it might be a trick or something, like tipping outhouses. Sometimes tools disappear or show up someplace strange, but you can never really tell if you left them somewhere stupid or if somebody just borrowed them without asking. You know… somebody not Pumpkin Man.

Dr. ████████: Thank you, you’ve been very helpful. If you can think of anything else, or if you see anything else regarding the Pumpkin Man, please contact us as soon as possible.

████████: Whatever you say, lady.

<End Log ██/██/1984 08:03:24>

Closing Statement: ████████ should be actively monitored for three months. After three months, ████████ should be passively monitored. 1 g of cocaine was confiscated from ████████’s domicile and remains in Foundation holding, should ████████ decide to approach officials about Foundation trespassing and assault. Regular sweeps of ████████ farm and surrounding forest should be scheduled before and during harvest season.

Addendum: To date, the Foundation has had 4 documented encounters with SCP-2531 dating from 1984 to 2014. The original SCP-2531 file was comprised of SCP-2531-01 through SCP-2531-04 assuming that each fetus was a separate but similar entity. However, further testing has determined that in all occurrences, SCP-2531 is the same entity sharing a 100% DNA match. Physical evidence such as marks made by samples taken, testing [see archived data], or damage to SCP-2531 induced while cutting open the pumpkin-wombs further supports this theory. However, the pumpkin-wombs in each instance have tested as unique specimens of varying color, size, and genetic make-up. This file has been updated to rectify this error. Archived data available below. ██/██/2014

SCP-2531-01: ██/██/1984: SCP-2531-01 was removed from pumpkin/womb and stored in the Alaska State Medical Examiner's cold chamber held at positive temperatures of 2 °C (36 °F) to 4 °C (39 °F). SCP-2531-01 was completely reduced to organic dust in under 58 hours (exponential decomposition). Pumpkin/womb decomposed at a standard rate. Blood, tissue samples, and frozen remains were recovered from the Alaska State Medical Examiner's Office and are currently stored at Site-103.

SCP-2531-02: ██/██/1992: SCP-2531-02 was removed from pumpkin/womb and stored in Site-103's standard morgue cold chamber held at negative temperatures of −40 °C (-40 °F) to −50 °C (−58 °F). SCP-2531-02 was completely reduced to organic dust in 8 days (exponential decomposition). Pumpkin/womb decomposed at a standard rate.

SCP-2531-03: ██/██/1994: SCP-2531-03 was submerged in liquid nitrogen connected to pumpkin/womb to induce mummification at Site-103.

4 distinct letters were inscribed upon the right palm of SCP-2531-03 using permanent ink (B), tattoo needle (G), scalpel laceration (Q), and grafting laser (W).

SCP-2531-03 was completely reduced to organic dust in 16 days (accelerated decomposition) despite mummification. Pumpkin/womb remains in cold storage (Site-103 Vault██).

SCP-2531-04: ██/██/2014: SCP-2531-04, attached pumpkin/womb, and living squash plant were contained at Site-103. Ultrasound tests confirmed SCP-2531-04 exhibited signs of life. Although nutrients were provided, the stem was damaged in transport. SCP-2531-04 subsequent death and decomposition began 13 hours after transport. SCP-2531 was removed from pumpkin/womb and although rigor mortis had begun, SCP-2531-04 showed a remarkable lack of decomposition.

3 letters were observed inscribed upon the right palm of SCP-2531-04 [see SCP-2531-03]. Both sub-dermal scalpel laceration (Q) and grafting laser burn (W) were clearly discernible. The tattooed letter (G) was visible only as irritated skin. There was no physical trace of ink within the punctures. There was also no physical trace of permanent ink.

SCP-2531-04 was implanted with a GPS tracking device as well as an RFID chip below the left clavicle.

SCP-2531-04 was stored at room temperature to attempt to induce recurrence for future containment. SCP-2531-04 was completely reduced to organic dust in 31 hours (exponential decomposition). Both GPS and RFID devices showed no evidence of decomposition. Pumpkin/womb remains in cold storage (Site-103 Vault-██).

Dr. ████████'s Note: DNA and physical evidence have both confirmed that SCP-2531-01 through SCP-2531-04 are actually the same entity. I request an update to the SCP-2531 file rectifying this error at the earliest convenience.

page revision: 20, last edited: 05 Jan 2017 01:32
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