nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: scp-2708 My Memetic Waifu
EuclidSCP-2708 My Memetic WaifuRate: 74
"Baby's First Guide to Euclid-Class Anomalies" & Other Questionable Documents Recovered from the Hard Drive of Dr. ████ ███████

Foreword: If you've reached this page, it'd better be because I personally handed you the access code for it on a piece of paper. I don't care how entertaining last December’s enigma may appear to be; its content and implications are a serious breach of security, information, privacy, and everything in between those, not to mention that its existence is a telltale sign of a massive employee conduct violation.

-Dr. John Blanchard, current assistant director of information security and director of the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department, 14:30 11/14/16

The following image was found saved on a portable hard drive belonging to Dr. ████ ███████, a level 3 humanoid containment specialist transferred from Site-11 to Site-19 on 08/08/██ who is currently being held for questioning in Site-81 indefinitely. The aforementioned hard drive has since been confiscated by security personnel (12/██/15) and was delivered to the Site Director's office in order to be searched for any additional information constituting a breach of sensitive material pertaining to objects Dr. ███████'s clearance level and project assignments do not involve.

It appears that, following the December incident, there was a previously unnoticed additional document of similar subject matter created by Dr. ███████; however, all files save for the title page1 are corrupted beyond readability, and are unable to display.

The following file appears to have been anomalously affected in one or more ways over the course of its existence on the hard drive. Discretion is advised when viewing this document, and it is recommended that the viewer be at least of level 3 clearance and have certification from one or more Foundation-administered cognitohazard exposure preparation course before proceeding.

Do not view the following image for more than 10 seconds. If any changes in the image's layout are observed, immediately alert the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department.


Research into what may have affected the above document is ongoing. Do not proceed beyond this point if you do not have level 3/2708 clearance and direct written permission from Dr. Blanchard of the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department.

Item #: SCP-2708

Object Class: Euclid (pending reclassification to Keter)

Special Containment Procedures: As knowledge of the existence of SCP-2708 more than triples the likelihood of being affected by the anomaly, this document should be embedded in an inconspicuous alternate document to avoid unintentional viewing. Personnel viewing this document should do so only if instructed, and should be inoculated against visual cognitohazards. Textual descriptions of SCP-2708 or SCP-2708-A should not be observed for more than 90 seconds at a time.

Due to the fact that full containment of SCP-2708 is conceptually impossible, containment efforts should be directed toward information suppression and, when necessary, immediate amnesticization of those affected. Mobile Task Force Lambda-12 ("Kinkshamers") are tasked with tracking and neutralization of both speculated and confirmed SCP-2708 manifestations. If the image referred to as Figure A (see addendum) is found in its original, uncensored form, it should be contained immediately in an opaque container and delivered to the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department with a written statement by those personnel who located it, including a log of the exact location in which it was found.

As SCP-2708 has been shown to affect only those with functioning knowledge of memetics, cognitohazards, and infohazards sciences, the presence of SCP-2708 hazards is speculated to be limited to only Foundation, Global Occult Coalition, Chaos Insurgency, and Marshall, Carter & Dark personnel; however, tense relations with other Groups of Interest have prevented any further research that may potentially yield different results. Caution should be held with regards to whether or not SCP-2708 is capable of affecting other Groups of Interest members not listed above. MTF Lambda-12 members are currently2 embedded in the Global Occult Coalition's Memetics & Cognitohazards Branch and tasked with reporting any potential SCP-2708 manifestations to their supervisor(s) through the proper channels (currently Dr. John Blanchard of the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department).

Caution should be held when engaging in conversation with a subject affected or suspected to be affected by SCP-2708 due to SCP-2708's effects. Physical contact with subjects affected by SCP-2708 should be avoided. If a subject suspected to be under the influence of SCP-2708 is encountered, the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department should be notified immediately so that proper containment procedures can be enacted. Under no circumstances should anyone affected by SCP-2708 be allowed to read this document and/or possess any contextual knowledge of SCP-2708.

Description: SCP-2708 is the designation for a phenomenon currently thought to be a Class-II cognitohazard, with both visual and tactile elements. SCP-2708 has thus far been shown to have the potential to affect all human subjects who possess functioning knowledge of cognitohazard sciences and are capable of romantic and/or sexual attraction.3 SCP-2708 appears to spread its visually cognitohazardous effects to documents and text created by those it affects, but this effect is secondary in that the transferred visual cognitohazards do not have the same mental effects on observers as hazards such as Figure A have.

It is unknown what triggers the appearance of SCP-2708 in an environment, though it is speculated that one of the main means may be the viewing of an infohazardous version of Figure A (see addendum). Figure A's origin is unknown, but sources indicate it may have been originally created by [REDACTED] (see addendum).

Those affected by SCP-2708 have, in all 45 documented cases, met these behavior criteria:

  • The subject will, at the onset of manifestation and onward, report increased libido and lethargy.
  • The subject will not show any awareness of the presence of cognitohazardous stimuli, even with a history of extensive training designed to increase awareness.
  • The subject will become hostile (though not to a degree that would constitute classification of SCP-2708 as mind-affecting beyond its default cognitohazardous nature) if questioned about such topics as romantic or sexual relationships, their personal history with such topics, or similar subject matter.
  • The subject will develop signs of general paranoia, as well as nervousness, insomnia, abnormal sensitivity to light, and hand tremors.

After 3-6 days of being under the influence of SCP-2708 without intervention, subjects will claim to be fully capable of interaction with a perceived entity, SCP-2708-A, and perceive said entity as a romantic and/or sexual partner.4 Subjects affected claim to be capable of full interaction with it as if it were a human partner, up to and including realistic perception of facial feature details and general appearance, realistic perception of physical stimulation, and, in one case, even a perceived full-term pregnancy. Some subjects claim that SCP-2708-A is not able to speak; however, other subjects have claimed that SCP-2708-A can speak, but is simply not audible during conversation.5

Continued perception of SCP-2708-A can be negated with the administration of Class-D amnestics to the subject; however, evidence suggests the subject will still possess some knowledge of their interactions with SCP-2708-A despite amnesticization. Out of the five subjects successfully amnesticized following prolonged (two months or more) interaction with SCP-2708-A, all five recalled and spoke of an entity with which they had relations; however, contrary to tests run during the time affected by SCP-2708, SCP-2708-A was not recalled as a human being but rather a nondescript entity having no clear physical form.6

Testing with D-class personnel has been halted as of 11/10/16 due to inconclusive results. Even when presented with Figure A for a long period of time, D-class subjects did not develop any signs of influence beyond mild confusion, paranoia, and increased libido; no subjects out of 25 D-class tested perceived or interacted with SCP-2708-A at any point ranging from two days to four months after exposure, leading researchers to believe that there may be an additional, as-of-yet-unidentified triggering factor in the full manifestation of SCP-2708's effects beyond simply exposure to Figure A.

Addendum: Warning. This section contains a known Class I cognitohazard. This image should not be directly viewed for longer than 10 seconds at a time.


Figure A (main cognitohazards censored) Do not view this image directly for more than 10 seconds at a time. If any changes in the image's layout are observed, immediately alert the Site-81 Cognitohazards & Infohazards Department.

Although the supposed original case of an SCP-2708 manifestation is impossible to track, the aforementioned Figure A - a Class-I visual cognitohazard first located in the break room of Site-██ with no discernible source other than a paragraph of text and the lyrics to The Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby" written on the back - is suspected to be the cause of the first SCP-2708 case.

Transcription of text attached to the original copy of Figure A:

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Many people are under the impression that art and feeling are mutually exclusive. That art is for a canvas, or your ears, or your skin, but never sensation. This is one of artistic expression's most limiting factors - this painful aspect of the human condition - and sensual limitation is a barrier we as humans must break through in order to comprehend what it means to be sapient and capable of true feeling.

Art is interpreted through perception, but sometimes we as artists cannot afford the cost of subjective interpretation, and we must make the necessary changes to the piece to negate that cost. Usually the observer does not notice the difference, but in rare cases we'll see someone pick up on it, and at that point we have to become a little more adamant in our presentation. It's for the best, for the soul's sake.

Art is for the soul, and what better way into the soul than through the body and mind? There is no purer expression of art than that which we express with our bodies and our touch and our love, and if you in your cold world will not process artistic expression with each other by will - if you will continue to refuse, by will or otherwise, to allow love and feeling into your lives - then we will help you to express it with yourself, little by little piece.

All you need to do is let it all in. You're waiting; we're waiting. Tell us, are we cool yet?

page revision: 13, last edited: 16 Jan 2017 22:23
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License

Privacy Policy of website