nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: scp-2789 Self-Replicating Fast Food Chain
EuclidSCP-2789 Self-Replicating Fast Food ChainRate: 18

Item #: SCP-2789

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Any discovered instances of SCP-2789 are to be immediately destroyed to prevent further spread. MTF-Xi-17 'Cross Country' is currently assigned to locating instances as soon as they appear via investigating new instances by monitoring social media and other mediums, and reports of mass recording software failure in patterns that bear similarity to those of SCP-2789. As of this writing, SCP-2789-1 is currently not in containment, but members of MTF-Xi-17 have been instructed to make all possible attempts to detain it. A standard humanoid holding cell has been prepared in the event that SCP-2789-1 is successfully obtained.

Description: SCP-2789 is a fast food restaurant named Beefbelly Bill's. This name is displayed on the front of the building and a sign outside the building. It operates as a lunch and breakfast food chain, and has fully operating fryers, grills, and soda and ice cream machines. When an SCP-2789 first appears, it will integrate into nearby plumbing and electrical services by use of pipes and electrical lines that extend out and connect to nearby systems.

Upon appearance of an instance of SCP-2789, at least four staff members will be present inside the building. These staff members have no sense of identity, and will only acknowledge that they are staff members of their instance of SCP-2789. Security footage obtained from nearby buildings show that the staff members do not leave SCP-2789, even after the indicated 'closing time' of 10:00 PM. If forcibly removed, they will vanish and reappear inside of SCP-2789's kitchen. If SCP-2789 is destroyed, the staff members will dissolve into piles of tissue and bodily fluids that match the genetic samples of other biological material found within the particular instance of SCP-2789. The food served by SCP-2789 has no anomalous properties, and is edible in most situations.

Over the course of each year an instance of SCP-2789 is open, thirty random people that buy food from it will be selected through an unknown process. These people will be told that the restaurant is having a special offer on that day, and will be offered a free burger with their choice of drink. Should the subject consume this, they are to be referred to as an instance of SCP-2789-2. If they do not, another person within the vicinity will be chosen by the staff members of SCP-2789. Approximately five hours after consuming this burger, SCP-2789-2 will display an urge to travel to a different location, most often a large city that does not have an instance of SCP-2789 present. Once SCP-2789-2 reaches a location it finds suitable, it will begin its transformation into a new instance of SCP-2789. Those who witness the transformation of SCP-2789-2 report having no memory of the incident, and all attempts to capture it on recording software have been met with failure, with attempted recordings being completely replaced with static that may occasionally lapse into the Beefbelly Bill's logo.

The exact conditions of how this occurs are unknown due to the inability to successfully observe the transformation, but it is theorized that SCP-2789-2 undergoes symptoms similar to congestive heart failure. Following this, SCP-2789-2 would begin to rapidly increase in bodily mass, until it reaches a height and width of nearly 4 meters. After SCP-2789-2 has reached sufficient size, its body tissues and fluids will begin to change into materials commonly found in SCP-2789. Any structures that are in the way of the new SCP-2789 will be incorporated into the structure of the building or displaced into another location. SCP-2789 has been observed to bond with structures such as supermarkets, churches, gas stations, and libraries. Any humans present at the time of transformation will be relocated inside of or near to SCP-2789.

Forensic analysis of structural components of SCP-2789 has found traces of bone marrow and spinal fluid, along with human epidermis (used as insulation for electrical wires) that test genetically identical to DNA samples (obtained from local hospitals when available) of SCP-2789-2. During one inspection of the demolished remains of an instance of SCP-2789, an enlarged human brain was recovered, with electrical impulses being given off, suggesting that SCP-2789 may in fact be alive. During examination, an attempt was made to measure the neural oscillations of the recovered brain. The wavelength of the brain was reported to remain the same until █:██ of the same day of its recovery, which coincided with an attempt to detain SCP-2789-1, in which it demonstrated erratic activity before abruptly ceasing all neural activity.

SCP-2789-1 is an elderly man who claims to be the CEO of the company, and will appear wherever a new instance of SCP-2789 appears. Descriptions of SCP-2789-1 vary, but always include that it appears in formal clothing, and bears a large mustache. Conversations with SCP-2789-1 have not proven useful, as it prefers to talk about the food at its restaurant, often asking subjects how it could improve the menu. Attempts to detain SCP-2789-1 have been met with failure, as it frequently disappears with no explanation, often leaving behind a business card identifying itself as the owner of the Beefbelly Bill's company, along with what is presumed to be a name in a currently unidentified language. Translation attempts are ongoing.

Addendum: The following interviews have been conducted between employees of an instance of SCP-2789 in ██████, Colorado, and SCP-2789-1 in ████, Washington.

Interview 1:

Interviewed: An employee of SCP-2789

Interviewer: Researcher █████

Foreword: This interview took place before the evacuation and destruction of SCP-2789.

<Begin Log>

Employee: Hi, welcome to Beefbelly Bill's! How may we help you today?

Researcher █████: I'm looking for information. When did this restaurant get here?

Employee: We officially opened for business last night, of course! Would you like to try our BLT burger? And for just three-ninety nine you can make it a combo!

Researcher █████: No, I wouldn't. What I mean to say is how did this restaurant get here?

Employee: I'm sorry, if you have questions about our company, you'll have to speak to the CEO. He's the life of the company! I hope he's able to help you, here at Beefbelly Bill's, customer service is our top priority!

Researcher █████: I don't suppose you'd be able to contact your CEO and ask him to come here, could you?

Employee: Not me, I'm just a cashier. Our CEO comes and goes when he wants to.

Researcher █████: Thank you.

Employee: Oh! I almost forgot to ask! We have a special offer today, would you like a free burger with your choice of drink?

Researcher █████: We're leaving. Now.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-2789 was demolished thirty minutes after this interview. The burger and drink offered to Researcher █████ were found to contain traces of human blood, mucus, and bone marrow in the sauce/drink. The discovered materials did not test identical to the SCP-2789 they were obtained in. The employee who offered the 'special offer' to researcher █████ became noticeably distressed after the offer was declined, calling Researcher █████ 'ungrateful for not accepting his (presumably referring to SCP-2789-1) gift'.

Interview 2:

Interviewed: SCP-2789-1

Interviewer: Agent R██████

Foreword: This interview was conducted at an instance of SCP-2789 in ████, Washington. SCP-2789-1 was found sitting at a table (drinking a milkshake) inside SCP-2789 prior to destruction and asked for an interview. SCP-2789-1 consented.

<Begin Log>

Agent R██████: Can you tell me what your involvement with this place is?

SCP-2789-1: I'm the CEO of this fine company. Beautiful, isn't it?

Agent R██████: I must admit I'm not a fan of the way you make the restaurants.

SCP-2789-1: (laughs) I'm afraid to have a successful business in this day and age, you'll have to make sacrifices… I expected someone from your foundation to know that.

Agent R██████: We're not talking about my company. Let's focus on yours.

SCP-2789-1: Of course, of course. Here I was, sitting in my office one fine day, and I thought, what if I could increase the number of restaurants in my business, at no cost, and increase production, also at no cost? Sure, there are some morally or ethically questionable things-

Agent R██████: The deaths of hundreds, just to 'increase production'?

SCP-2789-1: (clears throat loudly) -but ultimately, it's all worth it to increase my business. Every person who accepts my gift is a hero! A sacrificial lamb to further something far greater than themselves! It's not like the old days, where someone would offer you a human sacrifice to help you along. No, the world has changed, and I've adapted along with it. After all… I am the life of the company.

Agent R██████: Your employees say the same thing, word for word. What exactly does that mean?

(A brief silence as SCP-2789-1 finishes its milkshake)

SCP-2789-1 That's a company secret. (SCP-2789-1 excuses itself to the restroom)

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Following the conclusion of this interview, Agent R██████ immediately called for MTF unit Xi-17 to retrieve SCP-2789-1, however, when MTF unit Xi-17 arrived, SCP-2789-1 was no longer present. The instance of SCP-2789 was destroyed immediately after the interview. SCP-2789-1's knowledge of the Foundation is considered to be a security risk, and efforts to contain and question it have been increased.

page revision: 13, last edited: 14 Dec 2016 20:26
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