nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: scp-3295 Thank You For Smoking
EuclidSCP-3295 Thank You For SmokingRate: 110
SCP-3295
scp3295.png

Signage found on the door of every SCP-3295 instance.

Item #: SCP-3295

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: As all attempts to remove SCP-3295 from Baseline reality have failed, individual instances are currently under the jurisdiction of each Site Director. Directors may utilize SCP-3295 instances as designated smoking rooms or restrict access to them at their discretion. In accordance with the Foundation Health and Safety Code, SCP-3295 is generally the only indoor location in Foundation facilities where smoking is permitted.

Should SCP-3295-A appear again at some point in the future, attempts to negotiate the removal of SCP-3295 from Baseline will be made.

Description: SCP-3295 designates a series of anomalous interior spaces that simultaneously became a part of every Foundation Site on 1 Jan 1982 as a result of a CK-Class Reality Restructuring Scenario. Labeled "DESIGNATED EXTRA-UNIVERSAL SMOKING ROOM," SCP-3295 mimic the design of other rooms in a given Site and are primarily distinguished by a localized wormhole that takes the place of an ordinary ceiling. Smoke produced by cigarettes or other combustible drugs within SCP-3295 will leave local space-time via the wormhole and is subsequently transported to an unknown location; all other forms of matter are incapable of entering it.1 Owing to its anomalous properties, persons can smoke inside SCP-3295 indefinitely without the risk of secondhand smoke escaping so long as the doors remain closed.

SCP-3295 instances are both indestructible and self-replicating: attempts to remove them from their location will result in a retrocausal reconstruction of time, such that the attempt appears to have never occurred. For example: if C4 charges were planted in an SCP-3295 instance and activated, the person who activated the charges would find themselves in a different location and with no memory of having attempted to destroy the instance. SCP-3295 instances always appear when a new Foundation Site is built; upon interrogation, persons who worked on the construction of the Site will be unable to recall how SCP-3295 was made, often attributing its construction to another employee. Attempts to prevent SCP-3295 from replicating via Site construction will also result in the removal of those attempts from the timeline.

Background and Creation:

In 1981, the Human Resources Committee proposed a revision to the Foundation Health and Safety Code which would ban indoor smoking in all Foundation facilities from January 1982 onward. Despite mounting scientific evidence of tobacco smoking's negative health consequences, the Foundation struggled to implement restrictions on smoking throughout the 1960s and 1970s due to heavy opposition from rank-and-file staff.2 After a contentious public comment period, the policy was approved by a 10-3 vote of O5 Command in July of that year.

One week after the vote had concluded, each member of the O5 Council was approached by a humanoid entity (hereafter SCP-3295-A) who claimed to be a representative for a company called "Extra-Universal Smoking Solutions." After a brief conversation, the entities handed each O5 member a business card and a five-page proposal which outlined how SCP-3295 could be installed in every Foundation facility as an alternative to the indoor smoking ban. SCP-3295-A then de-manifested and the O5 Council subsequently called a meeting to discuss the incident. Accepting their proposal was viewed as an unnecessary and potentially dangerous risk given how little was known about the entities; the Council therefore agreed to store the documents in a high-value containment locker and reject the proposal in a 12-1 vote.

However, SCP-3295 was subsequently created following an unauthorized action from O5-6, the lone dissenting vote in the decision. A heavy smoker, O5-6 had been opposed to the indoor smoking ban and was said to be "dreading" the date it went into effect. Following the meeting's conclusion, O5-6 clandestinely secured one of the business cards, contacted SCP-3295-A, and signed a contract with Extra-Universal Smoking Solutions on behalf of the Foundation.3 Said contract resulted in the insertion of SCP-3295 into the Baseline timeline in their current form on 1 Jan 1982 (the day the indoor smoking ban went into effect), with records indicating them as having been constructed during 1979-80. As a result of his actions, O5-6 was dishonorably expelled from the Council and his clearance reduced to Level 2 for the duration of his career.

After several years of unsuccessful attempts to neutralize SCP-3295, the current Containment Procedures were put into place in 1985. SCP-3295-A can no longer be reached via the contact information on the business cards they supplied and the contract signed by O5-6 is still believed to be binding as of 2018.

page revision: 7, last edited: 25 May 2018 20:52
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