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nn5n: scp-3469 Nice Cream
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SCP-3469

Item #: SCP-3469

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Samples of SCP-3469 are to be seized and individually contained in Low-Value Anomalous Storage Units. Individuals found carrying or utilizing SCP-3469 are to be detained and questioned to ascertain its origin and the potential location of PoI-60249.

Description: SCP-3469 is a creamy white substance of unknown composition. When SCP-3469 comes into contact with a solid, it rearranges portions of the object's composition to form a pattern that resembles the numeral 69. The size and components rearranged depend on the proportion of SCP-3469 to the object covered; changes are non-fatal and usually of little physical damage to living creatures. SCP-3469 does not affect items whose volume is less than 3 cubic centimeters.

SCP-3469 is primarily distributed in aerosol cans composed of mundane lacquered tinplate with plastic caps. These cans are immune to SCP-3469's effect until they are emptied of SCP-3469, at which point they are normally affected by it.

Experiment 3469-1

Subject: A can of soft drink.
Experiment: SCP-3469 is sprayed atop the entire surface of the can's outside, and the can's interior is filled with SCP-3469.
Result: The ink on the outside of the can shifts to display a single 69 spanning the width and length of the can's surface. The number's colors are according to the can's pigmentation colors.

Subject: A proof of purchase from Walmart detailing a transaction of $0.99 for a can of soft drink.
Experiment: SCP-3469 is sprayed atop one side of the receipt.
Result: The ink pigment on both sides of the receipt shifts towards the side SCP-3469 was applied on and forms a singular, black 69 spanning the width and length of the receipt.

Subject: A 6 month old rat (Rattus norvegicus).
Experiment: The subject's upper body fur is sprayed with SCP-3469.
Result: Fur pigmentation on subject's affected area lightens in tone until the number 69 is clearly visible atop the area of application. Subject does not express pain, and continues normal routine during further 24 hours of observation.

Subject: D-549w85, a Hispanic female.
Experiment: SCP-3469 is sprayed over the subject's left forearm.
Result: D-549w85's skin pigmentation lightens in tone until the number 69 is clearly visible atop the area of application. D-549w85 does not express pain, but indicates distress and asks if the result is permanent. D-549w85 is told that the pigmentation shift will disappear within 30 days before dismissal.

Subject: D-432906, a Chinese male with albinism.
Experiment: SCP-3469 is sprayed over the subject's left forearm.
Result: A scab begins forming over area of application; D-432906 expresses pain and surprise. When asked to describe the pain, D-432906 mentions "a bunch of little cat scratches". When the process ends, the scab formed on D-432906's arm outlines the number 69. Subject is placed under further observation.

Recovery Log 3469: On 06/09/2018, London-based street artist Twobit (real name S████ N███) streamed a video of her sneaking into ████████ and attempting to paint over a recently restored wall. At 01:09, after breaking and entering into the building, she begins painting the wall only to discover SCP-3469's anomalous properties. In the remaining 21:25, Twobit paints over several segments of the wall she had originally intended to, as well as the floor and the opposite wall, before the stream is remotely terminated by Foundation assets. At 02:45 AM, Twobit was apprehended by Agent Mearns, posing as local law enforcement, as she attempted to escape from ████████. The following interview was carried out 45 minutes after the apprehension.

Mearns: Would you like a glass of water?
Twobit: Nicest cop I've ever met.
Mearns: Would you?
Twobit: No thanks. I had plenty in that weird…
Twobit: Nice, padded cell?
Mearns: Miss N███, I would like to ask you some things about the paint you used in your recent Facebook upl-
Twobit: You're not a normal cop, right?
Mearns: I am… higher, on the chain of command.
Twobit: Oh my god, I'm going to double jail.
Mearns: Quite the opposite, if you accept my offer.
Twobit: That's a first.
Mearns: Surely you're aware the paint you used in tonight's broadcast is not normal paint.
Mearns: I want full disclosure on where and how you obtained the paint.
Twobit: …And in exchange?
Mearns: You walk free. No charges, no record.
Twobit: S-
Mearns: Your video will be removed, and the wall painted over again-
Twobit: Aw, but it was so funny.
Mearns: -however, the rest of my branch will not be notified of tonight's antic. You are free to paint as many sixty-nines as you wish under the cover of night. With normal paint, of course.
Twobit: …like I don't all the time.
Twobit: Fine. Like I haven't been to jail before. You know? But this place gives me the fucking creeps. Fucking. Double jail.
Mearns: If I may take your statement now…
Twobit: Yeah, so, I go to my usual, [REDACTED] store over on ███ and █████ street. Old guy I've never seen greets me, I don't think much of it, I figure, new employee.
Mearns: What did he look like?
Twobit: Um, fuck. Bald at the top, not bald at the sides. Liver spots. Kinda round? If that makes sense. Big glasses.
Twobit: He tells me I've been, uh, randomly selected from a list of frequent customers, to use ████'s new paint. Free test.
Mearns: And you, again, think nothing of this?
Twobit: Free paint, my good bitch.
Twobit: Anyway, statement.
Mearns: Yes?
Twobit: Yeah, the rest is a given, I think. Went home, got ready, snuck into ████████, got busted. Been fighting with you guys for that spot for years, got caught in it a few times, it's always special when I go there so I thought I'd stream it.
Mearns: Thank you for your time, miss N███.
Twobit: Yeah, thanks for the water.

N███ was released without amnestics and placed under covert Foundation surveillance, in hopes that the contact who provided her with SCP-3469 (temporarily designated PoI-60249) approaches her again.

Addendum 3469-1:

The following interview was extracted from the January 2019 edition of the magazine ArtWar(t), a "zine" edited and curated by a German anart group under surveillance by the Foundation. Following an investigation by Agent Mearls, it is believed that the person named Darn See in the interview is PoI-60249.

The years have barely taken their toll on Darn See. He surveys the interview room like a hawk - and me. I try my best to stay composed in the face of an anart giant as him.
ME: Mister See, you've been around in the anart community-
SEE: Mhm.
ME: But it seems that your latest paint has caught on like nothing you've made before. People are using it in LA, in Bristol, in Ciudad de Mexico, in Tokyo1! What do you think of this, this trend?
SEE: Trend. That's what I want. I just wanted something to catch on quick. Something for all of you to grab onto. Every other group I've been with, they all fall apart. You all fight, you fling shit at each other. you sue for copyright. This time, I'm making the whole world my group.
ME: Your art exhibition in-
SEE: It's not art.
ME: Excuse me?
SEE: Excused. But just this once.
I pause.
ME: This piece you made in 2008, the "Horrendous Gioconda"…
SEE: What was it like?
ME: Um. It's the one with the, the Mona Lisa but it makes the viewer grow cat-
SEE: I love cats. Do you like cats?
ME: Yes.
SEE: Nice. Fucking hate dog people.
See sits back on his chair and takes a sip of water.
SEE: Fuck dog people.
ME: Why sixty-nine?
SEE: Nice!
Without another word, See gets up from his chair and walks out of the room, leaving me in bewildered silence. I have no idea whether or not he'll do a second interview next month as he had promised, but he did tell us to keep an eye out for his upcoming work. I, for one, am very excited for it.

Incident Report 3469:

On 06/09/2019, a wave of SCP-3469 spontaneously manifested in the form of a tidal wave in the beach of N███, France. The wave engulfed the city, currently under emergency evacuation due to an unrelated outbreak of SCP-████. Upon the wave settling, the buildings of N███ reassembled themselves by dragging their foundations along the ground across the course of four hours. When the buildings had settled, a reconnaissance helicopter revealed that the buildings of N███ now portrayed the number 69 when viewed aerially. 20 minutes later, a video was uploaded to the anart site ████████.onion, featuring PoI-60249 as recorded by an unknown cameraman.

0:00: The tidal wave of SCP-3469 can be seen approaching the city from atop a view from one of the buildings.
0:08: The camera zooms into and focuses on PoI-60249, as he rides the tidal wave's crest on a surfboard, seemingly unaffected by SCP-3469.
0:27: The camera is engulfed by the tidal wave.
0:49: The camera regains visibility, revealing a floor-level view of N███, France. The buildings around the camera rumble loudly. PoI-60249 and his surfboard appear unharmed as they walk towards the camera.
0:58: PoI-60249 helps the cameraman to their feet.
1:03: CAMERA: See! Is there anything you'd like to say for the camera?
1:09: PoI-60249: Nice.

page revision: 7, last edited: 25 Jan 2018 22:46
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