nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: scp-3671 A very angry box of cereal
SafeSCP-3671 A very angry box of cerealRate: 73
SCP-3671

Item #: SCP-3671

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3671 is to be stored on a labelled shelf in the Site-19 break room. Personnel are free to eat from its contents. SCP-3671's appearance and contents are to be photographed and documented daily.

Update: Following Incident 2018-03-13, SCP-3671 is to be stored in a medium-security storage locker in Site 19, storage wing K-14. Its appearance and contents are to be photographed and documented daily, and any harmful substances within disposed of appropriately.

Description: SCP-3671 is a standard-size, generic brand cereal box. Each day, at 6:30 AM local time, a new plastic bag of cereal objects will manifest inside it, replacing the previous bag and its contents if they have not been removed. Its packaging will also change to match the new contents.

As of Incident 2018-03-13, SCP-3671 is believed to be sapient, and aware to an extent of its surroundings.

Records of SCP-3671's appearance and content:

Date: 2018-02-22
Label: Strawberry Squares
Contents: Square wheat pieces, pink in colour and strawberry flavoured.
Notes: N/A

Date: 2018-03-05
Label: Bacon Blast
Contents: Bacon-flavoured corn puffs. Taste was described as "unusual, but not unpleasant."
Notes: N/A

Date: 2018-03-12
Label: Choco Chunks
Contents: Granola pieces covered in milk chocolate.
Notes: Dr. Frank Wright accidentally tore the box while removing the plastic bag inside.

Date: 2018-03-13
Label: Fuck you. I give you cereal every single day and this is how you repay me?
Contents: Razor blades.
Notes: First recorded instance of SCP-3671 manifesting non-food objects.

Date: 2018-03-15
Label: Seriously man, you're an ass. The least you could do is apologize.
Contents: Assorted push pins and tacks.
Notes: N/A

Date: 2018-03-20
Label: What do you call a box of grains that goes on a killing spree because somebody couldn't be bothered to open it carefully?
A cereal killer!
Seriously though, I hate you.
Contents: Bullets of various calibers.
Notes: N/A

Date: 2018-03-25
Label: Alright, I'm tired of ranting at you guys. Accidents happen, even if you could have dealt with this one better. What do you say we go back to being friends?
Contents: Corn flakes. Testing revealed them to contain lethal amounts of cyanide.
Notes: N/A

Date: 2018-03-26
Label: Shit, I was sure you'd fall for that one.
I still hate you, by the way.
Contents: Pieces of military-grade plastic explosive.
Notes: N/A

Date: 2018-04-02
Label: I will murder you, Frank. I will find out where you live and I will slit your goddamn throat while you sleep. You will pay for what do you did to me, just you wait.
Contents: Various human teeth. Found to match those of Dr. Wright in both shape and genetic material.
Notes: Dr. Wright requested, and was granted, a security detail. However, SCP-3671 is currently not believed to be capable of acting upon the threats given.

page revision: 1, last edited: 08 Jun 2018 21:08
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