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nn5n: scp-2302 Funtime Happy Game Plan
EuclidSCP-2302 Funtime Happy Game PlanRate: 38
SCP-2302 - Funtime Happy Game Plan
rating: +34+x

Item #: SCP-2302

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2302 is to be stored in a standard containment safe, equipped with surge-protected audio inputs, on Site-93. As SCP-2302 is itself poses no immediate danger to Foundation personnel, containment should emphasize minimizing the damaging effects, be they physical, cultural or psychological, of FERENTES. Communications with SCP-2302-1 are to be recorded and backed up offsite in the event of SCP-2302-2 causing damage to onsite data storage facilities.

In the event that an instance of SCP-2302-2 arrives onsite and a FERENTES Event commences, all personnel, save those tasked with ongoing negotiations with SCP-2302-1, will immediately ingest Class-C amnestics/anesthetic compounds and position themselves away from doors and windows. When the negotiation team has declared the all-clear and onsite threat response teams have located and disposed of the instance(s) of SCP-2302-1, offsite medical staff will move to assist the reawakening of all site staff.

All personnel on Site-93 are reminded that any verbal utterance of the words "jubilation", "token", or "castration"1 in the English language or any modern dialect thereof may trigger a FERENTES Event, and should avoid using English as a spoken language except when in direct contact with SCP-2302.

Description: SCP-2302 is a standard ████████-brand electronic loudspeaker, of the make and model installed on Site-93 during on site maintenance in 1998.2 SCP-2302 is able to recieve audio signals from an unknown source, and can continue broadcasting audio even when disconnected from a power source3. SCP-2302 has been confirmed to be structurally normal and non-anomalous, although disassembly of the loudspeaker has invariably triggered a response from SCP-2302-1 and FERENTES.

SCP-2302-1 is an entity which claims to be in control of the communications center of an alternate-universe version of Site-93 and uses SCP-2302 to deliver messages to Foundation personnel. SCP-2302-1 has only ever communicated in American English, and does not appear to be able to understand any other language. SCP-2302-1 speaks with a General American accent, and uses grammar and a vocabulary consistent with a university-educated native English speaker. In conversation, SCP-2302-1''s has been described as "pleasant" or "enthusiastic" with the exception of the replacement of key nouns and adjectives in sentences with allegorical or nonsensical alternatives spoken in a tone of voice three octaves lower. Analysis of SCP-2302''s audio has revealed that this second tone is SCP-2302-1''s voice, pitch-shifted and spliced into the audio feed in real time. SCP-2302-1 has refused to elaborate on the nature of its speech patterns or its word substitutions.

SCP-2302-1 can be communicated with by connecting SCP-2302 to a microphone as normal. Audio input from the Foundation universe appears to be broadcast in what SCP-2302-1 claims is its universe, and vice-versa. Since initial contact on █/██/2███, SCP-2302-1 has consistently attempted to gain control of Site-93 through spurious messages purporting to be senior staff, and concurrently to negotiate what it describes as a "funtime [sic] happy game plan", or mutual friendship agreement, with the Foundation. SCP-2302-1 utilizes instances of SCP-2302-2 as bargaining tools or gifts in its ongoing attempts to gain concessions from Foundation personnel.

SCP-2302-2 are objects which SCP-2302-1 is able to anomalously create or place in Site-93. SCP-2302-2 have taken a wide variety of forms, but all are characterized by a tendency to materialize just inside of interior doors and windows. The act of witnessing a materialization- codenamed FERENTES- triggers mild to severe symptoms of automatonophobia4, omphalophobia5, and social anxiety. FERENTES effects only occur if the subject is conscious while in the presence of SCP-2302-2 materialization: unconsciousness and mild amnestics have proven to be adequate countermeasures against exposure. Most instances of SCP-2302-2 have been non-anomalous and harmless, but several have proven to have deleterious effects. All instances of SCP-2302-2 recovered to date have been at least partially composed of human gastric acid. SCP-2302-1 can consciously trigger SCP-2302-2 materializations, but appears to be forced or compelled to do so when it hears one of several specific English words (See above).

Addendum 1: Sample instances of SCP-2302-2:

Instance # Description Other notes
SCP-2302-2-46 Gift-wrapped tube containing 104 3mm-thick slices of human adipose tissue in a dilute (1%) aqueous solution of human gastric acid. Genetic analysis of tissue matched that of Site-93 Administrator E████████.
SCP-2302-2-172 Three ceramic jars of concentrated human gastric acid, equipped with a motion-controlled aerosol dispersal system. Two Site security personnel injured by chemical burns.
SCP-2302-2-290 Sculpture of a wrapped ''present'' composed of an unidentified compacted white powder. Chemical analysis revealed powder to be 75% pure cocaine, 0.5% hydrogen chloride, 0.5% potassium chloride, 0.5% sodium chloride6, 23.5% bacillus anthracis spores by mass.
SCP-2302-2-681 Decorative basket of cut Begonia grandis7, mounted atop a 30-kg base of purified weapons-grade Pu-239. Object had apparently been doused in concentrated human gastric acid before delivery. Sample disposed of. Arrival area is heavily irradiated.

Addendum 2: Sample SCP-2302 Communication
Following the three subsqeuent FERENTES events on ██/██/2███, and significant radiation damage to Site-93''s backup generating systems, Researcher K████ opened communications with SCP-2302-1 in an attempt to minimize further materializations. Tonal shifts from SCP-2302 are marked in italics.

Researcher K████: I will ask you once again, SCP-2302-1. Please refrain from delivering gifts into Site-critical areas. You have already done enough.
SCP-2302-1: We are disappointed that you did not swallow your medicines. They were furious when we appointed them! All that sauce, just spilt all over!
Researcher K████: The effort is appreciated, believe us. However if we are to negotiate the, uh-
SCP-2302-1: Negotiate? No! Together we will inject the game plan! By the mixing of our fluids, it will be happy fun!
Researcher K████: I''m sorry, mixing of the fluids? You''ve lost me.
SCP-2302-1: We are great fans of fluids! So many splashes in your bellies! What comfort! What peacefulness! But we digress- one thousand apologies! It was a failure! No mixing or stomach rips, only speech and cooperation!
Researcher K████: Very well. The Foundation accepts your apology. Can we agree to put this regrettable incident behind us? And that you will no longer send us radioactive… gifts?
SCP-2302-1: Jubilation! Naturally! We would be pleased to crawl inside you! No more tokens! Of course! And when the time comes for your castration, for the emancipation… Well, I have spoken too much! Keep happily digesting! In the mean time, cheerful chats!

page revision: 10, last edited: 02 Jul 2014 20:33
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