nn5n Foundation
Branch of SCP Foundation
nn5n: scp-3679 Make a Geas, Foundation
SafeSCP-3679 Make a Geas, FoundationRate: 12

Item #: SCP-3679

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: The kit containing SCP-3679 is to be stored in a standard object containment locker. Tests utilizing SCP-3679 must be carried out or approved by a level 3 researcher assigned to SCP-3679.

Investigation into the identity and location of PoI-3679 is currently underway. The online storefront maintained by PoI-3679 is to be monitored and any newly identified customers are to be located and amnesticized after their purchases are confiscated.

Description: SCP-3679 is an unbranded ballpoint pen purchased online as a part of a writing kit. Chemical analysis shows the contents of SCP-3679 to be natural non-anomalous red ink. Despite this, tests have indicated that any writing done with SCP-3679 results in a blend of ink and the writer's own blood being used; no test subjects have displayed any discomfort or injury that would otherwise explain this, and prolonged use of SCP-3679 has failed to result in any noticeable differences in blood pressure or other such factors.

Statements written with SCP-3679 are contractually binding: violating a claim or promise written with SCP-3679 invariably results in the writer's injury or death occurring within the following 24 hours. Causes of death have included non-anomalous factors (e.g. heart failure or accidental death) as well as anomalous factors (e.g. spontaneous human combustion or unprovoked decapitation). Those bound by a contract written with SCP-3679 have an innate understanding of the penalties for violating said contract, and as such, show a notable unwillingness to violate their terms.

SCP-3679 was purchased from seller "shadow-queen", designated PoI-3679, through the popular online marketplace Etsy.com after a routine scan indicated potential anomalous activity based on the reviews left on PoI-3679's store. SCP-3679 was originally a part of a kit marketed as a "Do-it-Yourself Geas1 Kit", which contained SCP-3679, a pad of fifty non-anomalous sheets of paper, and a note from the seller.

Do-it-Yourself Geas Kit

Tired of broken promises? Rival hero stealing all your thunder?
Create your own geas today!

Forbid them from cutting their hair, prohibit them from refusing a gift!
Make them do anything you can think of with this simple kit!
All you have to do is get them to sign!

WARNING: Seller is not responsible for any injury or death caused as a result of this kit.

Initial attempts at making contact with PoI-3679 were rejected. After leaving a one-star review of the purchased kit, PoI-3679 initiated correspondence with Senior Researcher Maxwell, head researcher assigned to SCP-3679.

shadow-queen: hey asshole
shadow-queen: wtf is with the one star rating
rjmaxwell: Hello. I'm not sure what you're referring to.
shadow-queen: look
shadow-queen: dont play dumb
shadow-queen: this is because iwas ignoring you right
rjmaxwell: Are you referring to the review that was left on your product?
shadow-queen: uhhhh i literally just said that
shadow-queen: look buddy
shadow-queen: im just trying to make a living here
rjmaxwell: I see.
shadow-queen: then take down the review wtf
rjmaxwell: That could be arranged, if you're willing to answer a few questions for me.
shadow-queen: jesus christ this is blackmail
shadow-queen: you know that right
rjmaxwell: Just a few questions.
shadow-queen: fine just ask the damn questions
rjmaxwell: Are you aware of the anomalous properties in the pen you shipped us?
shadow-queen: uhh
shadow-queen: thats kind of the point?
shadow-queen: how useless would a geas pen be if it didn't form a geas lmao
shadow-queen: look i run an honest business
shadow-queen: what you see is what you get
shadow-queen: and its bastards like you that ruin people like me when you leave jank reviews
rjmaxwell: I'll remove it after we conclude this interview.
rjmaxwell: Follow-up question. Where did you obtain the anomalous pen?
shadow-queen: i made it
shadow-queen: you do know how this website works right
rjmaxwell: You made the anomalous pen? Would you care to share how you did that?
shadow-queen: trade secret
shadow-queen: even if i told you you probably couldnt reproduce it
shadow-queen: ive been doing this for a while
rjmaxwell: And you've sold a lot of pens?
shadow-queen: enough
shadow-queen: its not just pens
shadow-queen: weve got more stuff on the way
shadow-queen: check out the rest of my shop
shadow-queen: or actually dont since youll probably leave shitty reviews
rjmaxwell: Would you be willing to provide us a list of your customers?
shadow-queen: no. im pretty sure thats illegal anyway
shadow-queen: ive got work to do so can we wrap this up
shadow-queen: im sure youve got other skips to deal with anyway
rjmaxwell: What do you mean by "skip"?
shadow-queen: lol
shadow-queen: i think were done here
shadow-queen: dont bother contacting me again
shadow-queen: unless you want to give me back my spear
shadow-queen: and take down that shitty review
shadow-queen: or else

PoI-3679 ended communication after this, leading Foundation personnel to attempt to track them by IP. After locating an IP address, agents were dispatched with orders to capture PoI-3679 if possible. When agents arrived at the location derived from the traced IP address2, they found only a small copse of trees showing no signs of human habitation. Field agents have been assigned to observe this location until further notice.

Any customers that had left reviews on SCP-3679 have been located and amnesticized, with duplicate kits being incinerated.

page revision: 1, last edited: 16 Jun 2018 16:21
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