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nn5n: scp-3829 What Is This, a Crossover Episode?
SafeSCP-3829 What Is This, a Crossover Episode?Rate: -16
SCP-3829

Item #: SCP-3829

Object Class: Safe (See Addendum)

Special Containment Procedures: 10 copies of SCP-3829 are stored on individual flash drives in Containment Chamber 46 of Site-24. A guarded perimeter has been established around Site-24, with only SCP-3829/4 level personnel allowed access past it. No medium of any kind capable of storing information in the form of a narrative is to be brought within 250 meters of Site-24 without approval from Director Morin Director Samson. Since long-term containment of SCP-3829 is no longer feasible, developing methods to neutralize SCP-3829 are to take first priority. The spread of the anomalous region around Site-24 is to be slowed as much as possible until SCP-3829 has been successfully neutralized. Testing with SCP-3829 may only be performed by SCP-3829/4 personnel with permission from Director Morin Director Samson.

Description: SCP-3829 is an episode of an unreleased sitcom television show. Any records involving its creation or other episodes of the show have not been found. SCP-3829-A designates any medium storing a depiction of SCP-3829. SCP-3829's effect takes place when any SCP-3829-A instance comes within 1.2 meters of any medium storing information in the form of a narrative. The affected medium's narrative will combine with SCP-3829's narrative, where elements of the narrative's plots, characters, and settings will now display in SCP-3829.

Depictions of SCP-3829 stored on all SCP-3829-A instances will change accordingly afterward. The affected media will then become an instance of SCP-3829-A, with its previous narrative replaced with a depiction of SCP-3829. When 1-2 weeks have passed without an SCP-3829-A instance coming into contact with a narrative, SCP-3829 will gradually lose information it has gained from other narratives, eventually reverting back to its default state.

Regardless of the type of media introduced to SCP-3829, SCP-3829 will always portray itself as a situational comedy, and will never exceed 24 minutes in length. SCP-3829-A instances originally only activated in the presence of live-action sitcom television shows. As testing progressed, SCP-3829's effect progressively began to apply to other types of narratives.

In its default state, SCP-3829 begins with a short series of title cards introducing three main characters, Man 1, Man 2, and Woman appearing as two adult Caucasian males and an adult Caucasian female, respectively. The final title card reads "Humor Show". The episode starts off with Man 1 sitting in a white sterile room devoid of any furniture except for a sofa, window, and door. Man 1 is reading a newspaper when Man 2 walks in through the door. Man 2 then says, "Hello Man 1. I am sexually attracted to Woman, with whom you are also sexually interested in," to which Man 1 replies, "I strongly disapprove of this."

The scene cuts to Man 1, Man 2, and Woman standing in the same white room. Man 2 exclaims, "I love you," and Man 1 responds with, "so do I." Both characters then slip on banana peels lying on the ground and fall, followed by studio audience laughter. Woman then says, "Due to the act of clumsiness I have just witnessed, I am no longer sexually interested in either of you," followed by more studio laughter. The scene then cuts to only Man 1 and Man 2 standing in the room. Man 2 says to Man 1, "I apologize and I have come to the conclusion that our friendship is more important than the pursuit of a sexual relationship," to which Man 2 replies, "I agree with this statement." The men proceed to shake hands while the studio audience cheers. The episode then ends, with a total run time of 30 seconds.

SCP-3829 was discovered after several SCP-3829-A instances1 were activated in an office building in Sacramento, California. A total of an additional 30 inactivated SCP-3829-A instances taking the same form were discovered on the premises during initial containment. Of note is that the company who owns the building claims to have purchased it from a media production company named Omar Studios. No records of this company have been found.

Foreword: The following tests were performed with SCP-3829 beginning in its default state. SCP-3829's state was not allowed to revert until the testing session was completed.

Test #: 1
Introduced Media: A Blu-Ray Copy of the Fifth Season of Friends
Observations: SCP-3829 is indistinguishable from an original episode of Friends, and shares the show's writing style, humor, directing style, etc. The plot centers around a conflict between Joey and Chandler over a woman they both are attracted too. The episode ends with the woman rejecting both of them, followed by the two characters settling their dispute. All episodes stored on the Blu-Ray are replaced with SCP-3829. The Blu-Ray was incinerated afterward, following standard testing procedure.

Test #: 2
Introduced Media: A VHS copy of the seventh season of Seinfeld.

Observations: The woman whom Joey and Chandler fight over is replaced with Elaine from Seinfeld. The main focus of the episode is still on Joey and Chandler's dispute, but a portion of SCP-3829 is now replaced with a B plot focusing on Jerry from Seinfeld's jealousy of the attention Elaine is receiving. The plot features the other main characters of Seinfeld as well. After Elaine rejects both of the men at the end of the episode, it is revealed that she intentionally made Jerry jealous to take revenge on him for breaking her mirror the week prior, and was not actually attracted to either of the men. All episodes on the VHS were replaced with SCP-3829. The VHS was incinerated afterward, following standard testing procedure.

Test #: 4
Introduced Media: An episode of The Office on a flash drive and a DVD copy of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
Foreward: Prior to this test, SCP-3829's effect did not apply to live-action movies.

Observations: SCP-3829 now centers on a modified version of the segment in The Lord of the Rings where Frodo and his companions are chased by the Ringwraiths to Rivendell. The main characters from each narrative are now a part of Frodo's group, along with his original companions. All characters undergo no personality changes and are dressed and carry objects typical of their respective narratives. SCP-3829 describes these characters as "hailing from a distant, strange land".

Various settings from the accumulated narratives have merged with each other. For instance, the homes of the Hobbit people in the Shire are replaced with giant office cubicles buried into the hillsides, and all buildings in Rivendell are composed entirely of furniture from Jerry's apartment from Seinfeld. Studio laughter samples now contain vocalizations matching non-human races from The Lord of the Rings. The videos stored on the flash drive and the DVD were both replaced with SCP-3829. Both were incinerated afterward, following standard testing procedure.

Test #: 8
Introduced Media: An episode of Spongebob Squarepants on a flash drive.
Foreward: Prior to this test, SCP-3829's effect did not apply to animated television shows.

Observations: Characters from Spongebob Squarepants appear as realistic depictions of their animated forms. These characters are always deceased when they are on camera, likely due to their inability to breathe oxygen. Other characters still engage in conversation with these corpses. Several scenes feature Jerry from Seinfeld laying down on the floor, on fire. Jerry is alive and does not suffer any harm, and displays no reaction to this. It is unknown why this has manifested in SCP-3829, as it does not hold any relevance to any narratives introduced to it.

Due to the number of characters, plots, and themes now present in SCP-3829, individual characters appear on screen for shorter periods of time and have reduced dialogue. After this test, the radius of effect for each SCP-3829-A instance increased by 25%. All SCP-3829-A instances were relocated to a larger containment cell after the test. The flash drive was incinerated afterward, following standard testing procedure.

Test #: 13
Introduced Media: A hardcover copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and an audio file of the song Hey Ya! by Outkast on an mp3 player.
Foreward: Prior to this test, SCP-3829's effect did not apply to music.

Observations: Musician André Benjamin (aka André 3000) of Outkast is now featured in a brief subplot centering on a recent divorce from his wife. Additionally, SCP-3829 is now devoid of a main A plot and is entirely composed of an estimated 37 subplots, each focusing on a variety of characters and situations. Occasionally, multiple scenes play out simultaneously, resulting in copies of characters appearing on screen at the same time, and characters talking over other dialogue.

The book's text was replaced with a written transcription of SCP-3829, and the audio file stored on the mp3 was unchanged, except for the lyrics being replaced with a summary of SCP-3829. The lyrics were sung in a rushed manner, supposedly to fit the song's length of 4 minutes and 11 seconds. Both objects were incinerated afterward, following standard testing procedure.

Test #: 27
Introduced Media: A printout of Renaissance painter Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam on standard printer paper.
Foreward: Prior to this test, SCP-3829's effect did not apply to visual media portrayed in a single still frame.

Observations: At the beginning of the episode, Chandler from Friends is shown wearing a white robe, standing in a large Roman cathedral decorated with objects from various narratives. A beam of light is shining on him from above. Chandler suddenly falls to the ground holding his stomach, displaying pain and distress. Eventually, Chandler vomits 3 live children, aged 1-2 years old, resembling characters from various narratives dressed in miniature clothing, each with a circular glowing aura suspended around their heads.

Chandler then procures a human brain from under his robe and places it on the ground in front of the children, who are now crying. Chandler kneels in front of the brain in prayer, and the infants begin to rapidly age into their original forms, their clothes growing to accommodate them. Once they are finished aging, the episode proceeds as normal as observed in previous iterations of SCP-3829. This scene is not referenced or mentioned for the rest of the episode.

The printout of The Creation of Adam has had God replaced with Chandler as he appears in the opening scene of SCP-3829, the angels surrounding God with the children from the same scene, and Adam with a silhouette of television static. Other objects, characters, and settings from various narratives appear as well.

Test #: 36
Introduced Media: A short essay on the American Revolution on standard printer paper.
Observations: At any point in SCP-3829, 3-4 scenes are now playing out simultaneously, making detailed observations on SCP-3829 very difficult. Occasional references to the American Revolution in SCP-3829 can be deciphered, however. Additionally, rooms and settings featured in SCP-3829 are now severely crowded. Characters will occasionally be trampled to the point of severe injury or death, only to reappear alive and unharmed the next time they are on camera.

During the last 6 minutes, the camera cuts to a variety of characters in an apartment room composed of an amalgamation of furniture and architecture from various narratives. The characters are standing around Jerry from Seinfeld, who is lying prone on the floor while aflame, as observed previously in Test 8. Jerry then says "It's too concentrated. I'm supposed to be growing, George. Kramer, why won't you let me expand?". Get away from the stove! You'll burn yourself. I should know! Anyone got anything to eat? I'm starving. Stop burning me." The other characters then proceed to disperse and ingest various objects around the apartment, including ones that are inedible or are too large to fit in their mouths. This causes these characters considerable pain and distress.

After a while, Jerry, still laying on the floor, says "I'll break out of here soon. What's the deal with double dates? Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour. I love dinner. I love it so much. It burns, Elaine. What's the deal with Christmas?" accompanied with studio laughter between sentences. The episode then ends. The radius of effect for each SCP-3829-A instance increased by 50% afterward.

Test #: 64
Introduced Media: A flash drive containing the video game Half-Life 2.
Observations: The degree to which scenes play out simultaneously has progressed to the point to where SCP-3829 is indecipherable. All settings have been amalgamated beyond recognition as well. Characters now frequently sustain harm due to overcrowding of settings.

Locations, objects, and characters have begun to exhibit abnormal, spontaneous behavior, such as being suspended in the air, being engulfed in flames without sustaining damage, changing position, changing colors, rotation, and size, and liquefying. In the copy of Half-Life 2, it is impossible for the player to progress past the second area of the game because of this. All SCP-3829-A instances' radius of effects increased by 62% afterward. All instances have been relocated to a larger containment facility.

Test #: 159
Introduced Media: A hardcover copy of the children's book The Little Engine That Could.
Observations: All 22 minutes of SCP-3829 consist of static with faint outlines of distorted faces resembling various characters appearing occasionally. Indecipherable dialogue, music, and studio laughter can be heard. The book's text has been replaced with many different pieces of text printed on top of each other, to the point of being indecipherable.

Afterward: All tests after Test 159 produce similar results.

On [DATA EXPUNGED], SCP-3829 [DATA EXPUNGED] an anomalous region around Site-24. [DATA EXPUNGED] SCP-XXXX was upgraded to Keter status [DATA EXPUNGED] a sequence of events that repeats continuously [DATA EXPUNGED] Since initial manifestation, the radius of the region has gradually increased [DATA EXPUNGED] attempts to neutralize SCP-3829 by introducing an anafabula to the anomaly have failed. This is theorized to be because [DATA EXPUNGED] SCP-3829 has total control over any concepts incorporated into it. [DATA EXPUNGED] Other methods of neutralizing SCP-3829 are being researched.

Below is a transcription of the sequence of events that plays out within the region:

[DATA EXPUNGED] Researcher Morin can be seen lying in a metal cage, showing signs of extreme starvation. Next to the cage, the cast is sitting at an infinitely large dinner table, covered with various food and drink. [DATA EXPUNGED] eats all of the food, along with the silverware and plates. [DATA EXPUNGED] from inside his stomach, a character named "Fork" begins to speak. [DATA EXPUNGED] chicken, apple pie, arcs, salad, characters, steak, mashed potatoes, descriptions, footnotes, green beans, conflicts, casserole, it's all so good! Is this what not having a canon tastes like?" Hussain then trips on a snag on the carpet and implodes upon hitting the ground.

[DATA EXPUNGED] Sarah climbs on top of the table and transforms into a triple-decker layer cake. Jerry then says [DATA EXPUNGED] I hate layers, all stacked on top of each other. They taste like realities. I prefer a uniform paste. I am entropy, George!" Each individual is then shifted upwards into the air and rotates 90 degrees. SCP-049 then runs out from behind the curtain and proceeds to kill each member of the studio audience. [DATA EXPUNGED] Researcher Morin begins to scream. Researcher Talloran2 says, "Heh, amateur."

All cast members begin to consume each other [DATA EXPUNGED] the scene covered in various fluids. [DATA EXPUNGED] do not expire [DATA EXPUNGED] regurgitate when they cannot [DATA EXPUNGED] The red slurry then forms into animated figures resembling the cast members. [DATA EXPUNGED] an unidentified individual on the table. The individual is holding a smartphone, displaying an altered version of the Foundation database. [DATA EXPUNGED] taps the "rate" button. The red slurry loses its form and collapses, submerging the individual. [DATA EXPUNGED] says, "We thought we were real once, too. The gods are next." [DATA EXPUNGED] mouths numbering in the millions. The mouths proceed to consume the individual [DATA EXPUNGED] leaking a liquid with the appearance of being composed of television static [DATA EXPUNGED] The liquid continues to spread throughout the entirety of the region until nothing can be observed.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

page revision: 6, last edited: 11 Jan 2018 14:38
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